The Bookends of Life

It’s not often you get to see the bookends of life, either the beginning or the end, so to see them both in one day is quite amazing. I sat, or stood is more like it, at the doctor’s office and watched with excitement yet another ultrasound of my son who is now 24 weeks and 4 days old, but who’s counting. He has gone from looking like an alien, to looking like a young cyborg from the movie Terminator, to now looking a little bit like a monkey. A very cute monkey, I might add. Seeing life at such an early stage is a little overwhelming, at times beyond comprehension. Our little guy is growing at a good rate and all of Megan’s numbers are looking great. Now we wait some more. She is feeling him move around a ton and I, for the first time, actually felt him kick the other night. I’ve only felt it once, so either I am the ‘Baby Whisperer’ and have a truly calming influence or my son is already a momma’s boy and I don’t stand a chance. Either way, we’re pretty excited.

If that wasn’t enough for one day, this same day I experienced a rare blessing of getting to spend the final few hours of life with a beautiful ninety-one year-old woman. It is one of those aspects of this calling that you really can’t explain. Death is something that really freaks people out, but as a pastor, specifically one to a mostly older congregation, death is a fact of life. I really have come to see that being allowed into these sacred final few moments of life as an honor and a blessing. After several hours spent during the day calming her restless spirit, the phone rang late in the evening with the news. “She’s climbed that final hill.” And she has finished her race, a long race, run very well. A life-long educator, she taught her final lesson today, as I learned yet again how beautiful life and death can truly be. Thanks be to God for both!

Overlooking some overachievers

I heard somewhere that a big sporting event was going on half way around the world. Ok, so I’m only joking. I, like the rest of the world, have been entranced by all that is the Olympics. I must admit, sleep has been at a minimum for us over the last week. We have stayed up to watch the Games. We love it, mainly because it is the only time we really pay attention to some of these sports. I mean, seriously, how many of us watch gymnastics and swimming at any other time at all? (I have been to one swim meet at USC, but that was because I knew someone competing.) But this is the biggest stage in the world and I guess you could argue that these athletes are the best of the best. And so we watch.

Unless you have been hiding under a rock, you have probably heard about Michael Phelps’ quest for eight gold medals. That has been the story above all stories of these games. I hope he does it. I really do. But, I also hope we can move on and learn about some of these other athletes at some point. I’m sure we will after Saturday when swimming ends.

I was talking about all this a friend of mine the other day. He raised the issue that we are not hearing as much about the other swimmers and how the relays that Phelps swims are team events. He said, “What about those other guys? We have not heard nearly anything about them.” And then he made a comment that made me think. (“And this is the poetry that moved my soul.” A David Wilcox line for you.) “You know” he said, “It’s sort of like single people in the church. All we hear about is family this and family that and how the church needs to have kids so that it can have a future. What about us single folks? What about us?” I was blown away. What an awesome comparison. It is so true. The church has bought into the American dream wholeheartedly, the idea that you have to go to school and then get married and then have kids. That’s how we determine success, both as a nation and, unfortunately, as a church. But what about all those single people out there? What does the church do for them? How are they included? Now, one of the responses will always be, “What about singles groups at church? They have those, right?” And I am sure that most big churches do. But even then, singles say that groups like that are really used to try and hook singles up with other singles. And for what reason? So they can get married and have children of course. You see, we fall short is honoring people and giving them value no matter what their marital status is. In fact, the New Testament finds Paul going as far as to say that some people served God more faithfully when they were single and encouraged individuals not to get married. What a novel idea? What would our congregations think of that teaching? So, hopefully we can learn a lesson from the media’s coverage of the Games and honor all people, for exactly who they are as individuals created in God’s image, married and single. (Mad props Randy, mad props!)

Needs

Being downtown, we frequently hear the doorbell ring and find someone on our doorstep in need. They always have a story to tell. Like Tony, who just stopped by for a cup of water in order to wash his breakfast down, a breakfast that was simply a Little Debbie’s Nutty Bar. He also asked for a couple of bus passes to get him to and from work. Tony’s been by several times, it’s always the same. A cup of water and a couple of bus passes. This time, he had just finished spending several nights in jail for assault. Someone had cursed out his twelve year old daughter at the bus stop and he had to make a choice on how he should react. Obviously, in the words of the Third Knight, “He chose poorly.” (Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade reference.)

Then there’s Marion. Marion first came by needing a post office box so he could get mail and his disability check. So we paid for a PO Box for him, which we’ve done several times over in my several years. Then he came needing a haircut or a new pair of shoes or a new coat or this and that. He always spends a few minutes shooting the breeze. He always tells me where he is living and how ‘there ain’t a lot a work out these days’. After a little chit chat, the conversation turns to what they need, the concrete possession they are lacking or the money they need to keep something going.

Now, I don’t have a clue whether or not the stories these men and women give me are true or not. I’d like to believe they are, but I’m not that naïve. I realize they are using me, that they really probably could care less about me or the church and that are really on a mission to get something and if I don’t give it to them, they will probably go elsewhere. Realizing all that, I have also come to a realization about myself. I really don’t care about their motives. You see, when I am sitting and listening to these stories that they tell, eventually I know they are going to get around to the truth of the matter and they are going to ask for what they need. And that is at the heart of any relationship. What one needs. It just so happens that these folks I am referring to, while their stories may be made up, they will truthfully tell you what they need. This stands in contrast to the many relationships we are in as human beings. In our ‘normal relationships’, we skirt around the needs that we have. Instead of saying, “I need to…” or “I need you to…” to our loved ones, to our friends, to our families, we build up walls and force them to play guessing games as to our needs. Actually, being needy is seen as being weak. No one wants to be classified as needy. But yet, we all are. Living in a broken world, we all have needs. Whether it’s to be accepted or to be loved or to be affirmed or to be held accountable or to be challenged, whatever it is, we all have needs. But I believe the great thing about all this is the fact that we worship a God who meets our needs. And God meets all our needs, not necessarily the way we think they should be met all the time, but God meets them nonetheless. And one way in which our needs are met is through the love and grace of other people. Now, wouldn’t it do us well, to open our lines of communication, to freely speak to one another about our needs, so as we don’t have to guess anymore. People are sent into our lives to meet our needs and to help us meet the needs of other, but we have to speak truthfully. I am thankful for Tony, Marion and the others, for teaching me to open up and to be honest about my own needs.

Lessons from Coleman

While in Kansas, we made a quick stop at the Coleman Factory Outlet and Museum. Coleman products are used by most everyone who camps. Coleman began in Kansas by WC Coleman who produced lanterns and lamps in the very beginning. The museum honoring the company and the plant are in Wichita. Among the items at the Museum was a list of Mr. Coleman’s Personal Qualities That Insure Success. They are interesting and inspiring, especially thinking about them as a Christians and as pastors. Here they are:

1) A practical imagination. Every element contributing to human progress is first conceived and visualized in the human mind
2) A pioneering spirit which always believes there are new methods and better things to be discovered.
3) Initiative which impels one to do something about it.
4) Courage to launch out and attempt the seemingly impossible.
5) Resourcefulness that overcomes every difficulty along the way.
6) Persistence, that is, the power to carry through to completion.
7) The joy of achievement, which makes hard work a pleasure.
8) Capacity to work with other people. Every great achievement requires cooperative effort, and loyalty to a common purpose.
9) A becoming humility which acknowledges the help of others.
10) Qualities of the heart which cause one to find real joy and satisfaction in promoting the welfare of others.

What if we as a Church lived by these rules? What would the church look like for the future if we actually put these into practice?

The Name Game

One of the questions that has come our way recently has been the traditional, “What are you going to name your son?” Of course, if a guy asks me or us this question, he always suggests his own name as an option. I guess that is just a guy thing, a weird guy thing, but a guy thing. But naming this child is a big deal. I suppose it feels like the first big decision that we can make that will have a lasting impact. I mean, this is the name that my boy will be called for the rest of his life. Names are important. Even God has a name, as much as ‘I AM’ is a name, not an everyday name, but it is a name. And so names bring identity. It’s something that can be worn with pride or carried in disgrace. Names are what set us apart, unless you are a John Smith, and then it’s something more that sets you apart. Names are a big deal and so the act of naming our child is weighing pretty heavy. I’ve been lobbying for several months for Fenway, after the home of the Red Sox, but Megan doesn’t seem to be having any of that. We’ve actually had some really good conversations about names, serious ones. In fact, I think we’ve picked one out, but we’ll have to see. We are not quite ready to throw it out there just yet. More to come…

Saying Goodbye

I was struck by how hard it was saying goodbye to people at the family reunion last weekend. I don’t know them very well, nor have I known them for very long, but I felt a deep sense of connection with them. They are family now, whether I am an in-law or out-law or whatever you want to call me. Sunday morning was hard. I think it was hard because we don’t know when we would see these people again. 727 days is a long time away and a lot can happen between now and then.

It got me thinking, is it possible to say good-bye well? I mean, the whole concept of leaving someone goes against the way in which we have been created, as creatures who crave community and relationships. So naturally, leaving and saying good-bye is awkward at best. This reminds me of a story I heard one time. I don’t know if it is true or not, but supposedly while on his death bed, some of John Wesley’s final words were, “And the best of all God is with us.” Now that’s a cool way to say good-bye. “And the best of all God is with us.”
Brad