I’m going to rant a little. My blog, my rant.
While
grocery shopping yesterday with my two kids, this polite, little old lady came
up to me and said, “Aren’t you a brave babysitter coming to the grocery store
with these two little ones?” Now, I know she meant it as a compliment and being
offended is very petty of me, but I was. I tried my best to swallow my pride, smile,
and say, “Yes ma’am.” It was probably a feebly attempt at best.
This is
kind of a big deal in my mind. I champion the cause of equality for women. Paul
said, “In Christ there is no…male or female.” Women can lead just as well as
men, especially in the life of a church.
I say that, not because I am married to a female minister and I have to
believe that way, but rather because I believe that first and foremost, my wife
thought I might be worthy of her time and investment. I believe that gender roles are a human
construct and short of a few physical capabilities, men and women are equal. (Let’s
be honest, I’m not giving birth to a child.)
As I look
out into the world, one of the things that keeps hitting me square in the face
is not the battle over women’s right to be considered equal to men (which is
still a battle in many places, especially the church) but rather the doubt or
disdain toward men who assume the role that has long been placed on women. For
example, my experience yesterday, I was considered the ‘babysitter’ rather than
being the ‘parent’ of my children. I was not giving my wife a break from the kids
by taking them to the grocery store. She
was earning income for our family, which I do as well. I was doing my parental
duty of picking up groceries with my kids. That’s just how we do things in our
house.
I grew up
watching my father do laundry, so naturally I tend to do most of the laundry in
our house. I grew up watching my father do dishes (on the rare occasions we ate
at home because we were so busy and active as a family) so I do my fair share
of dishes. I’m typically the one who prepares most of the meals we eat because
I love to cook. There’s something about creating good food that feeds my soul.
I enjoy, most of the time, giving my kids baths and putting them down for bed.
And all of these things were typically done my wives and mothers for many, many
years.
I guess my
point is this: gender biases go both ways. I would say to women, it is okay to
expect more from your man than to just make money. Allow him space to be a good
husband and parent, not just a part time babysitter or house cleaner. And to the
men, get off your butt and help your wife. The call to both sides in any relationship
is the same. To live together, complimenting and honoring the other, in whatever
form that takes on. Don’t let the cultural norms stifle you from being who you
believe that God calls you to be.
That is
all. Rant over. Thanks for reading.
