Turning the Page

I've never been a big believer in changes that occur simply because of a new year.  Instead, I've always held the belief that each new day offers an opportunity to bring about a change in one's life.  I don't need the calendar to dictate to me when I need try to make changes to my life.  But I'll be honest, this year is different.  2013 can go ahead and get the heck up outta here.  I'm ready for 2014.

No doubt 2013 had some amazing moments.  We spent an extended amount of time at the Short Cabin in Colorado, we had some amazing Easter and Christmas celebrations at SAPUMC, tried some fun and creative things with the family and the church, and I'm sure I'm leaving out some pretty important 'firsts' along the way.

But the reality is that negative and disappointing far outweigh the celebrations and joys.  I'm a glass half full kind of guy, but this year has taken its toll on us something fierce. We began the year with some serious sickness.  We passed around every kind of virus imaginable, both strains of the influenza, strep throat, and the common cold about 12 different times.  From January until June, someone was sick in our household every single day.  We were constantly at the doctor's office or the pharmacy picking up medicines.  It was so bad that the church even brought some people in to check for mold and mildew in the house. They didn't find anything.

As the weather changed and it warmed up, we got a reprieve from the illness bugs that plagued us.  June and July were okay. Annual Conference and vacation book-ended these two months. 

August brought heartache. My mother's sister, my Aunt Lou, passed away after a really brief battle with cancer.  This meant mom was the last left living from her small immediate family.  My sister and I traveled to Chattanooga on a Sunday afternoon and returned the next day after an afternoon funeral.

In early October, SAPUMC's church secretary of 10+ years passed away from a brain aneurysm while at work.  The professional and personal loss were tremendous.  She was the one who taught me about SAPUMC and was going to be instrumental in our advancement in the future.  She was amazing at what she did and was simply a great person. This hurt a lot.

Several days later I had the first of two skin cancers (basal cell) cut out of my body, this one on my arm.  Two weeks later I went back to have the seven stitches removed, followed by a new incision to remove a spot on my neck.  This time I was left with an 8 inch gash that left me fairly immobile.  Two weeks later, I realized how costly this surgery was, as my should and neck muscles had atrophied.  I was left sore and hurting.  The scar still hurts from time to time and I still have not fully regained strength in my left arm.  I now have new found respect for those who live in chronic pain.  I'm sure I will get better, so there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but it has been hard.

Shortly after Thanksgiving, Megan's grandfather, Rev. Mel Short, passed away.  He suffered from Parkinson's for several years. His passing brought relief, but also more sadness to all who knew him.  Because of cost and timing, Megan went to Wichita without me and the kids, which made it harder still.

So this Advent season, as we anticipated the birth of the one who will one day wipe away the tears from our eyes, it took on a different meaning.  The holidays can be hard for a variety of reasons, but the idea of things being made new and starting over has an especially strong pull this year.  I feel like I have been in survival mode for a very long time and on top of it all, I know others who have it a whole lot worse than we do.  Some are dealing with a tremendous amount of loss, tragic events, broken relationships and other near-unimaginable suffering. So I try not to whine, knowing it could be worse, much worse, but it doesn't really help with the heartbreak and pain.  That, I am sure, will heal with time, no doubt about it.  So just turning a calendar over to a new year won't make things magically better.  That will occur every morning with each time we open our eyes to a great day filled with new opportunities.  It will be a long journey back, more like a marathon rather than a sprint.  But a new year is a start and 2014 is a welcome sight.