Recreating with the Reverends Gray, plus one

A Few Thoughts of my Own...

2011-05-02T12:43:00.001-04:00

It seems that all the world is chiming in right now with their thoughts about the death of Osama Bin Laden. While my feelings are by no means unique, one of the only ways I know to express them is through the written word. Twitter and Facebook statuses do not provide the necessary space to fully explore the thoughts and feelings that exist in my heart and head. So I instead thought I would blog or write a note. So here goes.

Like many, I remember that Tuesday morning. I was in my first year of Divinity School at Duke. I had begun pursuing my Masters of Divinity only a few weeks before, beginning the process of becoming an Ordained Minister in the United Methodist Church. I had just finished up my early morning Old Testament Class with Stephen Chapman, when word started to spread that there had been a plane crash in New York. I thought how unfortunate that was and how crazy it must have been in such a populated place. As I walked into the student lounge, I found many of my classmates glued to the television that had been rolled in, watching as the events unfolded. As details came out, and we figured out what was going on, sadness and fear began to replace the shock. The rest of the day, classes were of course cancelled. At that point, having just started in a new place, I did not have a good group of close friends yet, so I retreated to my apartment. I lived alone my first year of school and after a brief conversation with a couple of people, including my parents, I literally sat in front of the television for nearly 18 straight hours, watching with horror with the rest of the world. I remember going to bed that night, keeping the television on in my bedroom, as image after image of the destruction and devastation filled the screen. I slept off and on, waking to those images, wondering if more was to come. I think that was probably the most scared I have ever been. Living by myself for the first time ever, in a new place, some four hours away from my family, I felt very alone. My thoughts about God were very similar. Where was God in all of this? Of course, that question would be answered in the days and weeks to come, as stories rolled in about the heroism of volunteers and witnesses, running to the aid of strangers, laying their lives down in the process. I was in the perfect place to be able to process the events that unfolded that day, a place that would not allow easy answers to float by, but rather a place that challenged me to my core to look at these events in the light of Christ and called for me to respond, not in a vengeful sort of way, but rather in a way that was quiet, deep and profound.

Meanwhile, the political figures began chiming in, presenting the country with their take on the events that had occurred. “This attack was an attack on Freedom, on Democracy, on our way of life.” “These Muslims had declared Holy War on the US.” Songs were written and performed, talking about waking up a sleeping giant and how the eagle of America would swoop in the destroy tyranny. And the United States declared a “War on Terror.” I remember hearing the line uttered by our President nine days later, “Either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists.” A line had been drawn in the sand. The problem with lines is that there are only two sides. Rarely, if ever, are there only two sides. As all of this unfolded, I remember thinking about how we, as Americans, were now living in the same world that many countries across the globe had been living in for a very long time. Terror was now our reality too. This of course led to an increase in attendance at churches across our nation. People flocked to hear a good word spoken, to hear their ministers preach inspiring messages that made some sense of the chaos that we now found ourselves immersed in. People were driven to the church by FEAR. What we have found since then, is that fear does very little to bring about true transformation in individuals’ lives. Instead, fear became a driving force behind many policies and procedures that would take hold in the world around us. This fear dictated to us that if we allowed our guard to relax just for a moment, another event like this would occur. We began giving up rights for the perceived ‘common good’, thinking that if we tightened security, we ultimately would become ‘safe’ again. ‘Security’, ‘safety’, ‘common good’ are all words I struggle to fully understand, especially in a Christian context.

So fast forward to last night. Uncharacteristically, I was awake at 10:20 on a Sunday night, but I was also flipping channels, which I never do anymore. I stumbled upon MSNBC and saw that the President would be addressing the nation. At first I just thought, ‘huh, that’s odd.’ But then the more I thought about it, the more something didn’t seem right. What in the world was going on? This couldn’t be good, right? Megan and I went back and forth on possibilities. She said, only half joking I think, “This feels like in the movies when the President addresses the country to tell us a huge asteroid is coming to destroy the earth.” As crazy as that sounded, the butterflies began to form in my stomach. I said, “It’s got to be pretty bad to not be able to wait until the morning, right?” I felt the same fear and trepidation that I did that night so long ago, as those images rolled across the screen of NYC. As the word began to trickle out, even before the President spoke, that, that Osama Bin Laden had been killed, relief began to set in. Another catastrophe was not to be reported this night, instead the death of a single individual brought about the media circus. I supposed I shouldn’t downplay it like that. Bin Laden was not just a single individual, but rather had become the face of the enemy in our ‘War on Terror’. But, after all, he is only one man.

I think what has shocked me more than anything else, and what has left me feeling odd, is the response that we have seen. Immediately Facebook statuses and tweets began pouring in, claiming victory and celebrating. Being a pastor, my newsfeed carried a fair number of cautionary words, reminding people of their Christian faith and words from the Bible concerning our enemies. Then came images of people dancing in the streets, waving flags, holding up signs. Here’s the thing, and I guess this is where the rub comes in; we have all watched images like these in the past come from foreign countries, many of whom are in the Middle East. And when we watched, we were absolutely disgusted by all of it. “How could they celebrate like that?”, we ask. But yet, there we were, as Americans doing the exact same thing.

In the days that will follow, I am sure that yet again the political figures will begin to spin this thing as they see fit. Already I have seen someone say that the ‘War on Terror’ is over and that we won. We will hear stories of sacrifice and images of 9/11 will come back to the screens of our televisions. Some will feel as if justice has been served. I am cautious in my desire to boast such a claim. And here is why: Jesus came to free us from the concept of Lex Talionis, which means, “Eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth.” You can find this idea in Matthew 5:38ff. While the Quran appears to re-establish such a claim for the Islamic Faith, the God whom I am called to serve and to love and who loves me has laid before me a different way, a way that is through peace, hope and love, a way that is through Jesus Christ, the author and perfecter of our faith. The question that keeps coming up in my mind is this: Can peace ever be truly accomplished through violence? I wrestle with this. Honestly, I do not know. And I struggle with this while living in a land that is free, and whose freedom was and is granted and protected through violence, so you can see the difficulties that I believe we all as followers of Christ must face.

So rewind one more time, back to my Divinity School days. At some point, I listened to my ethics professor Stanley Hauerwas say, “My world didn’t change at all on September 11^th, instead, my world was rocked in 33 AD.” If that is the case, for you and for me, then the events of last night should pale in comparison to the celebration that we experienced a week ago, because it was early that morning that the real enemy, sin and death, was defeated once and for all. Thanks be to God for the Easter Season and for real reasons to celebrate.

Watering the plants

2010-04-05T15:22:00.002-04:00

They say that the Sunday after Christmas and Easter are considered ‘low Sundays’. If that be the case, then how low is the Monday following Easter? We have just come out of an amazing Lenten Season, culminating in an incredible Maundy Thursday presentation that our church shared with another. And then we kicked off the Easter Season with a sunrise service at Megan’s church and an amazing Resurrection Sunday worship service with my congregation. Needless to say, this Monday following such a powerful day has proven to be a little difficult to get up for. I’ve zoned out several times. I’m easily distracted. I’m not tired, just unsettled. It’s like my mind is saying, “Ok, what’s next?” and my body is saying, “Come back later.” Maybe I’m just excited about baseball starting (good win by the Red Sox last night…come from behind against the Yankees) and the NCAA basketball championship game that the Devils will play in tonight. (A quick side note: I most certainly stood up yesterday on Easter Sunday from the pulpit and said, “How ‘bout them Devils!” God forgive me.) Maybe, maybe not.

So I was sitting in this strange state when I remembered that I did have something constructive that I could do. This past Saturday, a group of my congregants met at the church and did some major gardening and planting in order to make our grounds look better. With near record high temperatures on the way in the next couple of days, all those new plants needed some water in order to survive. As I am watering the azaleas and other flowers, I started thinking about how similar we are to the plant life that I was watering. Those plants are not new. We planted some flowers that were already blooming and the azaleas were already a pretty good size. But, they were new to the ground in which they had been planted around the church. In order to survive, they were going to need some tender care and loving, mainly through the water that was now coming out of the hose that I held in my hand.

On Resurrection Sunday, the first Sunday of the Easter season, churches all across the country were filled, ours included. And all those in attendance, like the plants that we planted on Saturday, were not new creations. Instead, they had some years on them, some growth already, probably a few scars along the way as well. But here’s the thing, God was planting them, all of us, in a new place, giving us another opportunity. That’s the heart of the Resurrection Story, God planting something new into our hearts, each of us being reminded that we are being put into some new ground, so some roots can take hold and some new growth can spring forth. Maybe that’s what it means to be a new creation in Christ Jesus. But, I think we have to remember that like those new plants outside my church, all that was planted on Sunday needs to be watered, cared for, and tended to in some way, both personally and communally. I am not naïve. A lot of the people who came to church on Resurrection Sunday will not be seen again for a while. However, I am hoping that at least some of those plants survive, lasting long enough for the roots to take hold. I guess I, or better yet we, need to get to work doing what we can to provide the needed care for those new plants to make it. And here I was thinking I had some free time on my hands after a busy season. I better turn the water off and get to watering those other new ‘plants’.

Practice Makes Perfect

2010-01-18T10:10:00.002-05:00

We’ve all heard it before. Most have even said it at some point or another. Sunday before last, I was at basketball practice with my junior boy’s basketball team. I challenged them with a drill that they had never done before. They had to have a full court scrimmage against each other, but the catch was they could not dribble the ball. We tend to dribble too much, so I wanted them to practice passing the ball a little better. You would have thought I had asked them to do something terribly difficult. They complained and whined like a bunch of little kids. We kept at it, eventually moving to something a little more enjoyable. Fast forward to this past Saturday in our game. We jumped all over our opponent in the first half, sprinting out to a 19-3 lead. They played so well and passed the ball better than they have all season. The crowning moment for me was when one of the biggest complainers about the passing exercise lends forward and says to me, “Coach, I guess that passing drill worked.” Indeed.

Last Wednesday, in choir practice, our director had us singing in a very different and unique way. As a voice major at USC, Craig knows little tricks of the trades that many choir members pass off as silly or ridiculous. He knows what he is doing, but it doesn’t stop some of our members from hemming and hawing about the silly exercises he puts us through. Again, they sounded a bit like a bunch of little kids. The kicker is that when it came time to sing the song we were working on, we pulled it off better than expected. Yet again, practice, no matter how awkward and different, truly paid off.

I wonder how it this relates to our lives as Christians. John Wesley believed that we all are working towards Christian Perfection. While we often fall very short of that goal, the point is that we are always supposed to be improving ourselves as faithful disciples of Christ. And, based on the previous two scenarios of life, it means that we should be practicing, and not just going through the same routines and motions. Instead, we should be challenging ourselves, doing things that are often times uncomfortable and not natural for us. I wonder what that would look like. Lent is coming up in a month and what a better time to put ourselves in situations that make us uncomfortable and to practice our faith in a different and unique way. After all, practice makes perfect.

Becoming more thankful...

2009-10-26T13:29:00.000-04:00

I received a great compliment yesterday. After our worship service at church, a man said to me, “Pastor, that is probably the second best sermon you’ve ever delivered.” At first, it struck me as odd. It must of shown on my face. He continued, “I only say that because I know you’ve preached some good ones before, I just wanted you to know that was one of the best.” As I reflected on that comment over night, as it sort of sank in a bit and my all too big ego went down some, I appreciate it even more. In the past, I have heard a similar line. A lady has approached me and said, “That was one of your top five sermons.” I always like that compliment. It goes over better than the ones who say, “That’s the best sermon you’ve ever given.” I hear that and automatically think, “Well, I must have not been very good in the past.”

Truth be told, I am not very good at the whole compliment thing. As Megan can tell you, I rarely compliment anyone, even her. I’m far more able to critique than I am to compliment. It’s definitely a problem. I’ve hidden behind a theory for far too long, which is this: I do not need someone to compliment me. I’m smart enough and big enough on my own and do not need someone else to help build me up. And since I do not need it, I, in turn, do not need to compliment others. In some sick, sadistic way (in my head), it was my attempt at trying to make people stronger. As I think about it now, I can only laugh at how silly this whole line of thinking truly is. In reality, we all need to hear a compliment every now and then. We need to know that we are appreciated and loved. That’s part of living in community with other people, the ebb and flow of life.

As I think about complimenting, in my mind, it comes down to becoming a more thankful person. To compliment someone means that you appreciate something about them and you express it. Being thankful is extremely Biblical. Throughout the Psalms we hear about giving thanks and about praising, another word for compliments. Paul’s writings are very similar. Ironically, as I think about this, it is exactly one month away from the time the rest of the country pauses for the holiday Thanksgiving. So here’s the challenge I am posing to myself. Every day for the next month, I am going to offer up at least one compliment. It may be to someone about something, or it may simply be in prayer to God. Regardless, at least one compliment per day for the next 31 days. I realize that this may appear hokey, but the idea is that if you do something enough, it might actually bring a real change within you. I want to be someone who compliments more. I want to be a more thankful person, for all the ways in which others, as well as God, have blessed me. As a brief side note, I know of one person who compliments people way too frequently. This person comes across as superficial and shallow. Hopefully, I can avoid that pitfall and will not appear as such. I guess it’s a chance that I will have to take. We’ll see how it goes. (A second side note to explain where this is coming from, I just finished reading a very entertaining book called The Year of Living Biblically by A.J. Jacobs. It has inspired me and I recommend it to everyone.)

A Christian Nation

2009-09-21T11:29:00.003-04:00

So I now that Health Care is a touchy subject...but I HAVE to comment on it. First, let me say that I don't have the answers. I'm not to savvy when it comes to all of this and I am very fortunate to have good health care as a United Methodist Minister. So it would be very easy for me to say that I am happy with the way things are for myself and to leave it at that. But, I know better. I know better than to begin and end with myself. I know that there are many people who are not as fortunate as me and I know that even with good health care we are only a few medical emergencies away from disaster.

My big issue with this is that there are very clear biblical principles when it comes to taking care of people less fortunate than ourselves. Deuteronomy is explicit that the Israelites must take care of the widow, orphan, and resident alien (ie immigrant). Jesus in Matthew 25 is very clear on what he thinks about people who are taking care of the least of these. And yet, when it comes to health care so many people only want to worry about themselves or those who can take care of themselves.

So...here is the issue...why is it that the same people who say we live in a Christian nation do not want to operate out of solid biblical principles?

You can't be a Christian when it comes to certain issues and then look the other way on other issues.

Megan

More Like You

2009-08-10T10:48:00.003-04:00

This past Sunday, the choir at church sang a song called “More Like You”. Here are the lyrics:

More like you, Jesus, more like you.
Fill my heart with your desire to make me more like you.
More like you, Jesus more like you.
Touch my lips with holy fire and make me more like you.
Lord, you are my mercy. Lord, you are my grace.
All my deepest sins have forever been erased.
Draw me in your presence. Lead me in your ways.
I long to bring you glory in righteousness and praise.

So I’m warming up with the choir before the worship service and I’m holding my son in my arms as I sing these words. And I look down at him as I’m singing the line, ‘more like you’. And I think to myself, ‘maybe God wants me to be more like Isaac’. Here’s how I believe I could learn a thing or two from my son: Isaac, most of the time, is very laid back. He goes to anyone, opening his arms to everyone. Isaac does not worry, I don’t think, yet. He allows himself to be fed, although that is getting trickier and trickier as the days pass. He takes naps, waking up refreshed and happy. He looks people in the eye, although sometimes he stares. He gets excited about very simple things. He’s fearless, not thinking about falling, only about how much fun it is to stand. He goes to bed early, getting enough sleep to face the next day, most of the time.

As I thought about all of this, the line that says we must have faith like a child came to mind. Maybe Jesus was on to something there.

A Tribute to My Best Friend

2009-06-10T08:01:00.006-04:00

Just as he came into my life quickly, in a whirlwind of emotions, he also left me. The story goes like this: Mid-way through the second semester of my second year in divinity school at Duke, I received an additional amount of money that had been left over from a scholarship. Having school already paid for the semester, and being young and naïve about money, I did what any 23 year-old would want to do with money, to spend it. Having come out of a pretty tough relationship several months before, I had turned my attention for looking for a new best friend, one that would be far less trouble than a significant other. I had been on-line for about two weeks looking for a dog through a local adoption agency. Then the check came in the mail. I thought it was fortuitous. I had looked at the profile of a certain cute little dog named Kodiak about a million times. I’d look at other dogs, but I kept coming back to him. I finally got the nerve up to submit an on-line survey that requested information about him. The same morning that I sent in the form, the call from the foster parents came. It was the Friday before Spring Break, a break that I was using to come home for a week, just to relax. I thought to myself, what would be the harm to go and take a look. The couple allowed me to come and visit on Saturday so that I could meet Kodi before I made any kind of decision. Knowing nothing about a dog other than that I really wanted one, I consulted a good friend of mine to come along. She had a dog and knew a thing or two about dogs having grown up with them. My family had only ever had cats, so I was thankful for an educated friend to accompany me in my visit. As we pulled up to the house, I gave her very specific instructions. “You are to NOT allow me to get this dog. We are only here on a scouting mission. No matter what, you are to tell me to wait, and not to make any kind of decision about this dog.” My good friend that day, named Megan, who is now my wife, failed miserably to fulfill her part of the bargain. It was love at first site, looking back, for both of us. At the time, she never could have known what she herself was getting into. But I’m sure she doesn’t regret it in the least. Kodi, as we came to call him, was an adorable four-month old, 25 pound bundle of joy. He bounced around without a care in the world. He interacted well with the couple's other dogs and played with us as complete strangers. The only problem was that I was leaving the next day to come home for a week. The couple was also preparing to take him to one of those adopt-a-pet shows where he would have definitely been adopted. The couple agreed to take care of him for one more week if I promised to come get him as soon as I returned to Durham. The deal was done and I was the owner of new dog.

For six plus years, Kodi was my companion on a journey that I could not have gone on alone. He was with me through the ups and downs of Divinity School, through graduation, through my first appointment in Sumter, through our wedding, through my move back to Columbia, and everywhere in between. He sat on my bed with me on more than one occasion and comforted me as I cried. He endured a strict training program that lasted two months, but left him as one very well trained dog, not just on the leash, but through spoken words and hand signals. He even knew a little bit of Spanish and could spell, O-U-T and W-A-L-K. He loved to go on walks and down to the river, where he would run and play in the water. He dealt well with being a blended family, living with Megan’s dog Brooks and endured us adopting his little brother Durham. He even saw us bring home Isaac, although he was never really fond of him. He never really bonded with him like I thought he would, although I now know why. Over the last few months Kodi lost most of his energy. I thought he was just adjusting to a new life with a baby, but it turns out that he had developed cancer. He had lost a lot of weight over the last few days it seemed, so we took him to the vet. The news was rough. We could put him through surgery and the hell of chemotherapy, but it would only buy him another 4 to 6 months. Even then, he would be hurting. We made the decision yesterday to have him put to sleep.

You hear the term to describe dogs all the time, Man’s Best Friend. I’ve never given it a second thought, until now. I am realizing more and more that one’s heart is made up of people, and in my case and in many other’s, pets. And you don’t realize how much you love them, how much they mean to you until they are gone, and you are left with a little hole in your heart. My heart has a hole in it. Right now, it is big. Over time, it will grow smaller. But it will always be there. I thank God that for six plus years I had Kodi as my companion. He taught me what it was to be an adult, to think of someone or something other than myself, and gave me great practice in becoming a father. Just as he came into my life quickly, in a whirlwind of emotions, he also left me. I love you and I will miss you Kod-man. You were the BEST!

With closed eyes

2009-06-08T11:08:00.001-04:00

Because Megan wasn’t feeling great last night and went to bed early, I volunteered to be on late night baby duty. Wouldn’t you know that our little guy woke up twice, once at midnight and then again around 4:15. As I began to feed him, it struck me as odd to see how awake he was, his blue eyes wide open, looking at me and at the fan above. Both times I thought to myself, ‘he’s not going to fall back asleep’. What was amazing was that he was wide-eyed for the first seven ounces of both bottles, but when it got down to that final ounce, his eyes began to slowly shut. It was as if he knew it was time to close his eyes. I wonder if it is something innate in a child, that he or she knows that the end of the bottle is coming and it is time to go back to sleep. I’m sure there are parents out there that would scoff at such a question, whose kids never go quietly into the night. But not our little man, he knew exactly when to close his eyes.

As I was witnessing this last night, especially at 4:15 (it’s amazing what I think about in the middle of the night, when my sleep is interrupted), I began to think about when I know to close my eyes. Over the last two weeks in our worship service, I have been so moved by the music we have been singing, that I have actually closed my eyes while singing praise to our Living God. I am not one of those people who loses themselves in the worship services. I rarely close my eyes and even more rarely do I lift my hands in praise. I don’t have anything against people who do that, it’s just not me. But the last two weeks, at some point in the service, there I was singing with my eyes closed.

Here’s the thing, my son closes his eyes as he becomes full of formula from the bottle. He knows the exact amount he needs and as he gets to the point of comfort, he relaxes allowing him to drift off into sleep. In our worship services the last two weeks, I believe that I have become full of the Spirit, allowing me to relax, to be comfortable and to fully worship God. It’s taken a long time and a lot of prayer to get our great little church to this point. We finally have a musician who knows what he is doing and is passionate and connected and modern, as well as having a heart for the tradition of the church. With God’s help, it will continue, and maybe we all can close our eyes a little more often, and maybe my son will start sleeping through the night.

We've been busy!

2009-06-06T23:24:00.004-04:00

After a whirlwind tour over the last month that has seen us spend 6 days in Colorado for Stephen’s graduation, 8 days in Charleston for Salkehatchie, and 4 days in Florence for Annual Conference, we are happy to be home and trying to get our ‘little man’ back on some sort of schedule. I promise more posts are coming. I have a lot to share from our recent travels. Until then, enjoy a few favorite pictures of Isaac.

Back by popular demand...baby pics

2009-02-07T23:14:00.002-05:00

Just some recent photos for your viewing pleasure...

A New Seminary

2009-02-06T10:20:00.000-05:00

Growing up a United Methodist, I lament the fact that we do not have a United Methodist Seminary in the state of South Carolina. Instead, to get a degree from a United Methodist school you must travel to either North Carolina or Georgia and beyond. So one of my dreams is that we could open up a school here in SC and attach it to Wofford College, not an unreasonable suggestion in my opinion. With that in mind, I want to suggest changing the curriculum for such a school. I received a great education from a wonderful Divinity School, but I’ve had a lot of on the job training as a pastor. I think we need a few more practical classes to be taught. We will have many of the same classes that they teach at other fine institutions of higher learning, but I want to include some others. Here is what I would add:

Paper Work 101 and 301: The first class will help individuals attempting to be ordained. This is not only good in getting ordained, but will also aid them once they become ordained. The second, more difficult class will aid pastors as they slowly and painfully become paper-pusher for the conference.
Parking 101: In this class, you would learn all about the parking laws. You will also endeavor to learn the best strategy for getting as many cars parked in a particular lot as possible. Geometry is a prerequisite. This will forever eliminate the excuse of having parking issues in church.
Delegation 211: In this class you will learn to say no to a variety of things. “No, I will not lock up the church b/c that is the trustees job.” “No, I will not call everyone on the committee to remind them of the meeting.” “No, I will not reprint the bulletins to include your name.” “No, I will not paint the Sunday school room by myself.”
Surgery 101 and 311: The first semester class will teach that not every member of the church is there for the right reasons and this includes leadership. The second class will teach the art of how to delicately and lovingly removing the infections that plague the body of Christ. Despite the title, you do not need a medical degree.
Finances 101 and 201: The first class would be the basics in understanding financial issues at they relate to the church. Upon completion one will learn more about financial matters that deal specifically with clergy. Tax laws as well as the convoluted and often confusing Pension and Health Benefits systems of the United Methodist Church would be discussed.
Church Maintenance 101 & 319: In the first class, basic skills like stacking chairs and folding tables to unclogging toilets and taking out garbage is covered. The second is a much more elevated level of a class that includes the inner workings of a church boiler to learning the law as it relates to theft, graffiti and trespassing.
Death 201: Field training as individuals would have to spend time with funeral home and mortuary workers so he or she can help families make the best decisions possible for loved ones when the time comes. Time with the embalmer is optional.
Truth-telling 316: This is definitely an upper level class. Field training would include work with CIA agents trained in the art of deception. One will learn about eye contact and body language when attempting to ascertain the truth. Standard stories from the street will be memorized and recited.

2009-02-04T14:32:00.005-05:00

I am not a morning person. I don't believe that I ever have been. The sound of the alarm has always brought with it a sense of dread. I know that I shouldn't be that way. I know that everyday is a gift from God and I should be thankful for this is the day that Lord has made, but I can't help it. I was very blessed when I was growing up to have my mother wake me up...not such a bad way to do it. But when I got to college I learned very quickly that I was a little particular about how I like to be woken up. The day I woke up to my freshman roomate's alarm playing Melissa Etheridge's "Come to my window" I knew that I would never leave my waking up to the devices of some unknown DJ. I have pretty much stuck with the buzzing noise on most alarm clocks because it is predictable and does the job. Brad got an alarm clock about a year ago that makes rainforest and ocean sounds, among others. That is not so bad...but it always drives me crazy when I have to wake him up when his alarm is going off.
All of this is just to say that I have found the perfect way to wake up in the morning. There is no better way to wake up then to the sounds of a babbling baby. Isaac has taken to waking up in the morning and spending some quality time with the animals on his mobile. Brad and I lay in bed and listen as he wakes up, scoots around, and then finally begins the conversation. Eventually he gets frustrated that they don't talk back and that's our cue to get ourselves out of bed. But I have to say that the first morning he slept through the night and woke up babbling was one of the best mornings of my life. I still wouldn't call myself a morning person, but it is definitely getting easier!
Megan

Isaac's First Bath

2009-01-04T12:54:00.003-05:00

For friends and family far away, we want to share this video. He'll probably hate us for it later in life, but we thought it was too cute!

One month and counting…

2009-01-03T22:57:00.004-05:00

Yesterday, January 2nd, marked exactly one month since Isaac entered the world. He is doing great. As of our last check up, which was a little over a week ago, all of his numbers were perfect. He was in the 93rd percentile for length (I wonder where he gets that from?), 67th percentile for weight, and 55th percentile for size of his head. It has really been an amazing month. We are trying a best to get him in a comfortable routine. He does fairly well, but each day brings a new adventure. We seem to have figured out the morning routine as well as the evening routine. His mom is still doing very well at keeping him well fed through the night. If we could just figure out during the day, we’d be set. I’m sure parents out there are reading this and saying, “Welcome to parenthood!” At least everyone I talk to has a similar response. Some days we sleeps, some days he’s happy and content, and other days, well, let’s just say there’s no doubt that the boy has a strong set of lungs. He’s beginning to get more control of his head. He’s picking his head up and turning to look at us when we speak to him. He’s doing well following his one of his rattles with eyes as well. He also seems to be a big fan of the bath, very content and happy any time he’s in the water. Megan has managed to keep her sanity through the month, while I finished up the Advent and Christmas season at the church. Now begins a whole month of both mommy and daddy being home. We consider ourselves very blessed to be able to have this time together.

Just a quick word

2008-12-20T23:29:00.007-05:00

As you can imagine, since bringing Isaac home, we have had our hands quite full. It seems that we are getting the hang of being a new family and look forward to January when both of us will be home, as full time parents. If only but for a month, we can't wait to spend that time together. We go back to the doctor on Tuesday, just for a regular check up to see how much our little guy has grown. We'll report more after that appointment. Until then, enjoy some photos of the family!

Isaac's favorite uncle!

First trip to the zoo!

Our entire household

We are finally home!

2008-12-07T00:06:00.002-05:00

Well, it took a while, but we finally got sent home today, with Isaac in tow. He responded so well to all the treatments for low blood sugar over the last twenty-four hours that as of 3:00PM this afternoon, he was released from the hospital and we were allowed to start our life as a family together at home.

Our time in the hospital was amazing. While no one chooses to have their son whisked away from them and put in the special care nursery, we definitely made the most of our time. Looking back, we met some very amazing people who taught us a plethora of knowledge. We truly felt like God was with us the entire time because people were constantly coming into our lives at the exact time that we needed them. Whether it was the nurse that explained to us everything that was going on with our child at 3AM so we could sleep peacefully knowing he would live or the lactation consultant that offered some very amazing advice that has allowed Megan and Isaac to grow closer by the minute or another nurse that helped to feed and comfort our child so we could skip a feeding and get some much needed rest. We owe a great debt to the people in the Special Care Nursery at Lexington Medical Center.

Our hearts and prayers go out to those families who are still there. Another child was experiencing the same things as Isaac, yet she hasn’t quite responded as quickly and could be there for several weeks. When you are in a nursery like that, you start seeing the same people over and over again. While we never really spoke about what was going on with our specific children, there was a sense of community, all of us parents suffering the heartache together, while our children suffered physically. It was hard for us to leave today and to look at some of those infants who were much worse than Isaac.

While we are extremely thankful to be home, it doesn’t take long to see how quickly kids get on a schedule. In just three days, Isaac had developed a very steady pattern of activity. Sleep time, mommy and daddy time, feeding time, then back to sleep. While in the hospital, he hardly whimpered or cried. Since we’ve been home, it doesn’t seem like he has stopped crying, especially tonight. Even as I write, he is screaming at the top of his lungs. I suppose he got spoiled and set in his routine while in the hospital, and now that we are out, he is in a foreign world. That and he got circumcised today, so that might have something to do with the fussiness. Anyways, pray for us because now is when the fun begins. At the hospital, it was easy, we sort of did what we were told to do. Now at home, we have to figure things out and we are off to a rocky start.

Things are looking up!

2008-12-05T22:49:00.002-05:00

Our little man is doing so well. He is out of the incubator and out from under the blue light and back in his bassinet. As of 11:00 tonight they will completely take him off of the IV that he’s been on since Wednesday around noon. If his sugar levels stay on track overnight and into tomorrow then we will get to start looking at possibly bringing him home soon. He is really starting to take to feeding from Megan, which is huge. Megan has been such a champion about doing everything she can to get him up to speed health-wise. She breastfeeds, which normal takes like an hour to get to the nursery, to get him ready, to feed, to keep him alert and then to get him back settled down. Then she pumps, which takes thirty minutes or so. She rests for an hour or so and then starts the whole process over again. Her motherly nature is starting to kick in, and although it is hard sometimes, she pushes right through and gets it done, whatever ‘it’ may be. I am so proud of her. I can’t imagine going through anything like this with anyone other than her. She’s my hero.

Another quick word...

2008-12-04T23:11:00.002-05:00

Although he is in the special care nursery, Isaac is doing great. He’s even gained weight, which I am told never happens after babies are born. It looks like he will have to stay a little while longer at the hospital but he is in a good place and getting better by the hour. Thanks to all for the thoughts, prayers and calls. We love you all!

A quick update

2008-12-04T00:09:00.003-05:00

We are so thankful to have so many friends in this world. Thanks for all of the notes of congratulations and such. Just a quick update: Isaac’s first full day has been a very eventful one. From the start, he was very stubborn coming into this world. Megan is my hero. She went 16 hours in labor without any pain medication, the last three while being given Petocin, a drug that made her contractions way more difficult and more frequent. At 7:30 PM on Tuesday the doctor basically said it was time to rethink our attack plan and thus we decided for a c-section. Megan even handled that beautifully well. Needless to say, she is very sore. As for our little man, he is doing great, with only a few minor issues. Since the beginning, the doctors have been fighting his low blood sugar count. We tried supplementing formula but to no avail. So today, Wednesday, at 12:30PM they moved him to the ‘special care’ nursery. They have him hooked up to an IV and are giving him nutrition as well as glucose. His blood sugar level looks to have come up, but we still need more time and then they have to wean him off of the IV. He also has a little bit of jaundice coming on, so they have stuck him in an incubator and under a blue light. Needless to say, all of this is a little difficult for two new parents and grandparents to handle. Thankfully we have talked to several really awesome nurses who have calmed our fears a great deal. We simple ask for continued prayers at this time, for patience and good health. Thanks for all who have called and I apologize for not having answered the phone. Megan and I are trying to get as much rest as possible as often as possible, still trying to make up for the marathon of Tuesday. We will update as soon as possible. Again, we yet again realize how truly blessed we are!

A day full of Thanksgiving! – Part Two

2008-11-30T22:50:00.004-05:00

As we mentioned before, we realize how blessed we truly are, especially when it comes to family. But our Thanksgiving day actually started out with what we consider our extended family, our Epworth family. Some how, and I say some how because I think it occurred through several different relationships and conversations, but some how, the Epworth kids had the joy of celebrating Thanksgiving with the University of South Carolina Football Team. That’s right, the entire team came to Epworth and had lunch with the kids. I wish everyone could have experienced it. To see the kids all excited and to see the players, in a completely different light, having fun with the kids and with each other was really great. Every child received a USC hat and then with some help from the staff, the autographs began. I am sure the players’ fingers are sore after signing their name nearly 75 times. It was not like the kids were just excited about getting their signatures, but more than that the players were there to see them, spending time with them. In fact, the autographs continued long after the players left, as the kids were literally signing each other by the end of the event. Coach Spurrier came and talked to the kids. He made sure that he made his way around and tried to speak with nearly every single kid personally. He could have been doing a million different things on Thanksgiving, namely spending it with his family, but he didn’t. He took time to come and to give back, to be with some kids who for a variety of reasons could not or were not with their families on Thanksgiving. He told them that they needed to be their best. And not just the best football player or actress, but the best in all that they did. It was definitely a different way to spend part of Thanksgiving.

A day full of Thanksgiving! – Part One

2008-11-27T21:16:00.002-05:00

Our Thanksgiving this year was so full, both literally and physically, that we have to divide it into two parts. The first thing and most important thing that we are thankful for is our family. We have been so fortunate and blessed in our life as a couple never to have to divide our time during Thanksgiving. With our families living so close to each other, about an hour drive, we have been able to have a huge gathering, with both of our families present. This year was different, only in that we meet at our house, instead of Augusta, as we have the previous three years. Megan cannot exactly be jumping in the car and driving to terribly far right now, for obvious reasons. So no, no baby yet.

But we are aware, that our holiday tradition of a joint family is very, very rare. Almost every couple we know has to divide their time between families in some way. But not us. We get to be different. Our families get together, and actually enjoy being together. We are SO THANKFUL for that. It’s kind of overwhelming. So tonight, we joined together to share a meal, wonderful conversation and a ton of laughter with both of our parents and all three of our siblings. Megan’s sister even brought her Nintendo Wii so that we could play games together. You should have seen our parents laughing together during a game of bowling, all in the comfort of our living room. The mom’s finished first and second by the way.

We are so thankful to be bringing a child into this wonderful world that we are so blessed to be living in. I cannot even imagine how much fun next Thanksgiving will be when Isaac is around one year old, running around like a crazy kid, being loved by both sets of grandparents, both aunts and an uncle. We thank God for the blessing of family and we thank our families for being so great. We love you!

Getting closer

2008-11-24T15:11:00.003-05:00

Another day, another doctor's appointment. Megan is doing great. Doc says she is 3 cm and 80% effaced. If we need to explain either of those numbers to you, don't bother asking, just know that they are good. Doc says we should make it through Thanksgiving, but not much longer than that. Thanks for the prayers!

Life in Pictures

2008-11-17T20:37:00.004-05:00

Here are some current pictures of where we are right now...baby's room and Megan.

No 'guts', no glory

2008-11-12T16:21:00.001-05:00

With the countdown at a little over three weeks, we have begun to panic a little bit about getting the house ready for Isaac’s arrival. With Megan being gone, doing some extremely high-level church business, I have used the last two days to do some much needed work around the house. One of the things I have done involves our toilet upstairs. Because we are using cloth diapers (49 million diapers are thrown away A DAY in the United States), we have this handy dandy sprayer that connects to the water line that leads into the toilet. The idea is you spray the diaper off into the toilet, which is supposedly less messy. The verdict is still out about that. Anyways, to install the sprayer, I had to shut off the water and take out a part and then install another part. In the process, mainly because the toilet seems to be the original when the house was built sixty years ago, I managed to break off a key part. To a lesser man, a phone call to a plumber would have followed. But not me. Call it pride if you will, I was determined to do this on my own. After a trip to a store (which I will comment on in a second), I had to parts needed to change the ‘guts’ out in my toilet. After some blood and sweat, I did it. Now, I am not one to talk a big game about much and I am definitely not one of those macho guys, but there isn’t much more ‘manly’ than changing the ‘guts’ out in a toilet. Insert Tim Allen’s macho grunt from Home Improvement, HUH, HUH, HUH!

As I said, I had to go to a store to get the needed supplies. I went to one of those large home improvement chain stores. Needing a couple of other things, I wandered around that stupid store for about an hour, looking lost all the while. When I finally did suck it up and asked for help, my question about another home improvement issue, was met with the response, “Can I special order that for you?” When I said no, the lady curtly told me that I would have to find the department specialist, that she couldn’t help me. Nice, gotta love that. Sooner or later, I found what I was looking for without anyone’s help. When I got home, I had another problem. Instead of going back to the big store mentioned above, I decided to go down the street, to the local ‘mom and pop’ hardware store. I was greeted by the usual folks, both of which asked, “What can we do for you?” Now, normally that question intimidates me because I really don’t know what I need, just that I need help. But here, the question wasn’t intimidating at all. I simply explained my problem and they went about getting me exactly what I needed to fix it. A very inexpensive solution, I might add. A great lesson in life about the fact that bigger is seldom better and personal service goes a very long way.

This reminded me of one of Megan’s favorite songs by David Wilcox called East Asheville Hardware. Check it out sometimes. It’s great. Here are the lyrics:

An angel appeared in a holy vision
Stood by my bedside in shivering light
Spoke my name Told me my mission
I could not believe I was hearing him right
Because he said, 'Go, my son, go...

Always go to East Asheville Hardware
Before you go to Lowe's

He said, "Go to East Asheville Hardware
Before you go to Lowe's

You'll help to keep them open
I'm worried they might close
From the stiff competition
From the national conglomerate
With the full page ad
in the color section of the Sunday paper supplement
and stacks of plastic swimming pools
and seven brands of power tools
and rows and rows of registers
all having nice days

But no, you go, he said to me with light around his face
He said, You go first to that age-old place
To that old wooden door that you have to close behind you
To the wide-board wooden floor worn down soft

To the real thing
Good advice, quality at a fair price
And know that they know how deep the frost goes here.

Sure there's stuff you'll have to find at Paty's, Lowe's or Sears

But go to East Asheville Hardware
Go to East Asheville Hardware
Before it disappears.

Letter to my unborn son

2008-11-05T15:10:00.002-05:00

Dear Isaac,
You are being born into a crazy world, my son. Last night was historic, for many different reasons. The most obvious is the fact that our country has stepped out of its own shadows and elected it first African-American president. Many thought they would never see this day, both white and black alike. But it has come. And it is only the beginning. Our country, our world as we know it, is consumed with very divisive feelings. Everyone seems to have their own opinion about things, and very few are scared to share them. Our country is engaged in two wars, Iraq and Afghanistan. We seem to be at war with the economic structure and ways in which to preserve the environment as well. We are at war with each other over other issues, like abortion and gay marriage, hot-button ‘moral’ issues as they are called. There are strong arms on both sides of these battles. But there are many of us who find ourselves in the middle of all these struggles. It seems that we in the middle have had enough of the tension, being pulled back and forth between the right and the left, and have finally found our voice. Whites and blacks, young and old, came out in record numbers yesterday and declared in a loud voice, “Things have to change”. This will not be easy and it will not be overnight. The change we seek does not reside in the policies and practices of one man or one party. Instead, they are the very ideals of all people, all created in the image of God, coming together for the future of this nation and our world. The Psalmist warns, “Do not put your trust in princes, in mortal souls, who cannot save.” God alone saves. So we put our trust and our hope in God, praying that whatever may come from this time, above all else we know that God is still in control. Never before have I personally felt as hopeful to see change coming than I am today. With God’s help, God’s people, in many different shapes, sizes, colors and creeds, are moving out of the long-forgotten center and onto center stage. I promise to do all I can to work with others to improve this world, living the life demonstrated by my Savior, Jesus Christ, loving God, my neighbor and all creation, so that you will never have to live in fear, so you can live the life that God intends for you to live, no matter what that looks like. While the world is crazy, it is the world that God created, the world that above all else God still rules. May you see the joy of your future, exactly how God intends it to be. You are truly blessed, my son, welcome to this world. Love, Dad.

I'm just not that important!

2008-11-04T15:51:00.001-05:00

Two nights ago, as I was getting ready to get in bed, I realized that I had left my phone downstairs. I was faced with a choice. Either I could run down and get it and return it to its night-time location, on the nightstand next to my bed in case there is ever an emergency, plugged in so that it charges for the next day. Or I could just leave it and get it on my way out the next morning. Deep inside of me, I had this fear. This would be the one night that I didn’t have it and someone would call, needing me in the middle of the night and I wouldn’t be there to hear it ring. I bring this up, as sort of a confession and cleansing, as well as a plea to others. I think I am way more important than I really am, as if the world hinges on my availability and my ability to pick up the phone at a moment’s notice. I am not that important. Things are not that important.

I say this, because this brings up a larger issue. I am tired of hearing phones ring in meetings, gathering and especially in worship services. Now, let me preface this next statement by saying, we all make mistakes and forget to turn our phones off. I’ve done it, once or twice. Everyone has done it a time or two. I can forgive that. But what gets my goat is the fact that people constantly come into meetings, gatherings, even worship services and do not turn their phones off or put them on silence/vibrate. And if that is not enough, when the phone rings, they fail to immediately silence it. Normally what happens is the phone rings, they don’t realize it is their phone. Then when the shock wears off, they pull it out and look at it, trying to figure out who is calling. Then they answer it, while running out of the room, trying not to be rude. Oops. The damage has already been done. Why run out? You’ve already distracted everyone around. Listen, in all seriousness, if we as people are intelligent enough to own a phone, we better know how to operate it, meaning turn the ringer off immediately when it rings, or better yet, put it on silence or vibrate to begin with. If one does not know how to do that, then maybe one would be better served not owning a phone at all. Besides, are things ever really that important? I say this, and for the next five weeks I will be a slave to my phone, especially when my wife calls, for obvious reasons. But that is different. The day to day routine of life is never really as important as we think it is. When we go to meet with people, let’s do something revolutionary and actually meet with them, in a real, relational sort of way. Let’s put the noise of the rest of our lives aside and be fully present with them, giving them our undivided attention. Let’s make them as important as God intended them to be. Remember that whole, “Love God and your neighbor” thing? It has to start somewhere, right?

By the way, two nights ago, I ran downstairs and got my phone. Like I said, this is more of a confession than anything else. Maybe next time, I’ll just go to bed, realizing that the world will continue to turn, no matter where my phone is located. I’m just not that important.

Pastor of a Champion

2008-10-30T17:27:00.002-04:00

I love my calling. Now, there are definitely days in which I am not so quick to thank God for calling me into the ministry, but it seems that I am always fed just enough to keep me energized and excited about what I have been chosen to do. I get to see things and be a part of some very interesting things. Today, I found myself in some uncharted territory. I called to ask several of my friends if they had every experienced what I saw today. The conversation went like this, “Have you ever seen a pumpkin seed spitting contest?” “Um, No.” “Well, then that means you have never seen a pumpkin seed spitting contest in which all fifteen competitors were 90 year old women.” That’s right friends and neighbors, I got to experience a group of 90 year old women spitting pumpkin seeds. How great is that? While I was visiting one of our more experienced members at her assisted living community, the activities coordinator came around to gather up the residents for the fun. You should have heard them. They were fussing and complaining. “I don’t know how to spit.” Not true. Everyone knows how to spit. It’s one of the first things we come out of the womb doing (I’m sure I’ll learn more about that in about five weeks.). And sure enough, it didn’t take long for the women to get the hang of it. And not only that, in spite of the complaining, several actually enjoyed it. They would spit and then giggle, like little school girls. It was hilarious. And the best line I’ve heard in quite some time, “Now, don’t spit so hard your dentures come out. The nurse wouldn’t like that at all.” When it was all said and done, my church member actually won, she spit her seed the farthest. She was the champion. Never has there been a more proud pastor. God sure does have a great sense of humor.

The Spirit, she’s amovin

2008-10-28T15:20:00.000-04:00

One of the great things about God is the fact that you never know what’s going to come your way day in and day out. I love how I can come to church and have absolutely nothing on my plate for the day and plan on getting some much needed paperwork done, only to find out that the Spirit is moving and God has plans that I did not even know existed. Take today for example. Out of nowhere, I was able to meet two guys from The General Board of Global Ministries spending about two hours with them at the church and over lunch. We talked about mutual friends who are doing amazing work as well as discussing plans for a very exciting and innovative conference/summit/gathering that hopefully will occur in Columbia around May of next year. It was refreshing, to think yet again about the fact that our calling as Christians is so much larger than just what we see in front of our eyes in our own community. And to think, I thought today was going to be boring.

More than a professor, a friend

2008-10-26T18:25:00.004-04:00

About two years ago, Megan bought me a madras jacket, the one above. She had no idea why I wanted one, just that I had said several times I would like one. So finding one on ebay, she ordered it and gave it to me as a present for some occasion. The real reason that I wanted one was because Dr. Larry McGehee always wore them at Wofford.

Second semester my junior year, if I recall correctly, I signed up for five classes. This was a break from the norm for me, a slack student who always signed up for the bare minimum. It’s still any wonder how I ever got out of school on time. But this particular semester, I had decided to reach out and to extend myself a bit, taking fifteen hours, rather than twelve. I received an invitation from a fairly odd faculty member named Dr. Larry McGehee, asking me to take his Religion 340 course, Religion in America. Being a religion major, he felt like I fit the mold, whatever that was, to take his seminar style class. I walked in for the first class, meeting in the Presidential suite in Gibbs Stadium to find a class mostly dominated by seniors. I was extremely intimidated. Finding my seat, I immediately realized I was in over my head. I was taking a second semester of Greek as well as several other classes that were challenging at the time. So my only option, or so I thought, was to politely drop out. I can remember that feeling, when I told Dr. McGehee that I was going to drop his class. I knew it was a privilege to be invited to take the class, but I just didn’t believe that I was up for it. He was sad, you could tell. I felt terrible, like I had let him down, like I had disappointed him. You know that feeling like when you let your parents down by making a bad decision.

As the semester passed, and fall of my senior year came and went, a week did not pass in which I did not have some interaction with Dr. McGehee. It was as if he was stalking me for not sticking with it, not in the bad kind of way, but in the supportive, ‘I’m here for you’ kind of way. I will never forget the surprise I felt that when I started to sign up for my final semester at Wofford, when he approached me about yet again participating in his seminar class. Now that I knew him, there was no way I was passing up another opportunity.

That was so like Dr. McGehee. He believed in his students, way more than we ever believed in ourselves. He constantly sought us out, wanted our opinions, desired to learn from us, rather than just sitting back and teaching us all he knew, which was the world. He could have spent hours upon days upon weeks and years, sharing his knowledge, he had that much, but instead he invested his time and energy, learning with us, experiencing life with us. Never was a man his age more proficient in the ways of technology, leaving his students trying to catch up with him. He was always quick with a small and something funny to say, lightening the mood whenever he could. The only thing he loved more than learning was his family and the Wofford community, which most of the time, you couldn’t tell the two apart, except for ‘the Queen Mother’, his wonderful wife Betsy, who knew us probably just as much as Larry did because I’m sure he shared everything with her.

Dr. McGehee was first and foremost a word-smith, a vocabulary genius or any other way you could describe someone who has complete mastery of language. Here’s an example. These words were the last I, along with many others, received from Dr. McGehee. They came via an email thank you following this year's Homecoming. “When I arrived at Wofford in 1982 and for every day since, Wofford College has laid her hands upon me, levitating, elevating, and otherwise ever uplifting me. She embraced me so tightly that I went without vacations, holidays, and Saturdays and Sundays, for a quarter century. I was unaware of how dependent, Antaeus-like, upon being on campus I had become, until late April of this year, when some virus complicated my existing fibrosis condition and laid me low. I have been unable to return to campus since then, and have given up my office. The daily lunches with colleagues in the faculty dining room, lunch once or twice a week with students, Acorn café coffee visits, and post office runs are missed sorely, making me ever more mindful of the Wofford magic kingdom that inspired me and sustained me. I am thankful for Wofford College.”

No, it is we, who are thankful of you, Dr. McGehee. I didn’t know Dr. McGehee nearly as well as some of my peers, for they were much better students of the master than I was. But I did learn from him that it didn’t matter what kind of student I was because he loved us all. Dr. McGehee passed away last night from his recent illnesses. I, along with all the others that he touched over the years, will miss him greatly. I, for one, will think of him every time I slip my jacket on, you can count on that.

My idealistic ways

2008-10-21T11:23:00.002-04:00

I was out the other day and noticed a young child in a stroller who had a bottle of milk in her mouth, propped up on the side, just sitting there. Wanting to impress my wife and my mother, I said to them, “You know, you are not supposed to do that with a child because it could lead to problems later on.” I had read that in one of the books that I am desperately digesting in preparation of Isaac’s arrival. I know, I know, books are nothing like the real thing. But, what will it hurt in trying to be better informed? Books are a guide, they are not the concrete rule. Anyways, my mom’s response to my comment, which I thought was a very insightful assessment of the situation, was to roll her eyes, like she often does with me, and claim, “You are so idealistic.” Shaking her head she says, “Just you wait.” I love my mom.

For the second time in a couple of days, this idea of being idealistic verses realistic has come up. I had talked with a friend of mine about ministry and new ministers. He had commented about how when talking to new ministers, those just starting out, candidates for ministry even, that you find a level of excitement that you do not see everyday. “Before they become jaded by the church”, he says, which I can totally relate with. You learn things in school and you see the church a certain way when you first start out and then when you get into the church, you find things that you are not prepared for and you end up dealing with things that are totally different than anything you ever imagined. This is not just in ministry, it seems to be pervasive throughout our lives. It seems that this struggle is on-going, the battle between idealistic and realistic. Does it always have to be this way? I mean, in order to be realistic and in the moment, must we give up a desire for things to be better, to be idealistic? We feel this when we are young. The idea that the world is ours to conquer, we can do anything and we can be anything. And then, something happens, we get a little older, we have an experience or two, and the next thing you know, our idealism is gone, and we think, “I guess this is it. This is what they warned me about.” And then, and this is where it really gets bad, we start raining on other people’s parades. We think, well, if I cannot be idealistic, neither should you. And then we become cynical and jaded toward other people and their idealism.

I believe this goes much deeper than just being optimistic or pessimistic. For me, if optimism sees the glass half full, then idealistic means working actively to fill the glass the rest of the way up. Now, if this metaphor holds true, and if pessimism sees the glass half empty, does being cynical and jaded means that you are actively trying to pour the rest of whatever is in the glass out? If we live our lives jaded and cynical, do we not fall into the trap of trying to hold down the dreamers of this world because our dreams have not been realized? Possibly, if we are not careful.

The prophet Joel once described the Day of the Lord by quoting God saying, “I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughter will prophesy, your old men will dream dreams, your young me will see visions. Even on my servants, both men and women, I will pour out my Spirit on those days (2:28-29).” This message was so important that Peter repeated it in his first sermon at Pentecost (see Acts 2). What’s truly important is that we do not let the day to day junk that we deal with take away from our desire to be better and to live differently than we are right now. We should never stop dreaming and we should never forget about God’s Spirit that resides with us, throughout all of our junk. Realistically, we should live in the world in the most idealistic way possible, dreaming dreams and visioning visions of the way things can be. God wants nothing more and demands nothing less than for us to a little bit better today than we were yesterday.

"O God of Every Nation"

2008-10-06T16:55:00.005-04:00

In celebrating World Communion Sunday yesterday, we sang the hymn “O God of Every Nation”. I am not sure if you are familiar with it or not, but I found the words to be extremely powerful and moving, especially when thinking about war and our world and America’s role in it all. It may be my new favorite hymn.

O God of every nation, of every race and land, redeem your whole creation with your almighty hand; where hate and fear divide us, and bitter threats are hurled, in love and mercy guide us and heal our strife-torn world.

From search for wealth and power and scorn of truth and right, from trust in bombs that shower destruction through the night, from pride of race and station and blindness to your way, deliver every nation, eternal God we pray.

Lord, strengthen all who labor that all may find release from fear of rattling saber, from dread of war’s increase; when hope and courage falter, Lord, let your voice be heard; with faith that none can alter, your servants undergird.

Keep bright in us the vision of days when war shall cease, when hatred and division give way to love and peace, till dawns the morning glorious when truth and justice reign, and Christ shall rule victorious o’er all the world’s domain.

It reminds me of Israel. When we were over there, we said on several occasions, “The only thing that can change this land and bring peace is Jesus Christ, the Prince of Peace.” As we look over the landscape of our world, specifically our nation, and see the divisiveness that exists everywhere, it appears Jesus is the only answer for all of us.

Balance

2008-10-02T17:22:00.001-04:00

I’ve written about this before, but it came up again today. I visited an older church member who is living in an ‘extended care’ facility, a step beyond a nursing home, meaning the staff interacts more often with the resident. At least, they are supposed to. The place was noisy, cluttered and smelled bad. The residents live two to a room. It truly is an awkward situation at best. She is well on up in her years and I was struck by the difficult situation that she was now facing. Modern medicine and technology had allowed her to live more years, but those years have not been ‘good’ years, they have been years spent going in and out of hospitals and nursing care facilities. The quality of life has declined, while the quantity of years has increased. It leaves me wondering, ‘Is it truly worth it?’ I see people like this more than I would like and I am always plagued by the same question. Have we gotten ahead of ourselves with technology and medicine? Obviously, the desire to prolong life has to be due to the fact that we value life above all else. I recently heard a line on a radio advertisement. It said, “And nothing is more important than life.” Is that true? As a Christian, as one who is trying to follow Jesus and live into his teachings, I want to finish that line by saying, “Nothing is more important than life in Christ.” Without Christ, this life is all we have and personally, I believe God is calling us to more. Don’t get me wrong, I am not being fatalistic or anything, I do not want to die any more than the next person. But death is not the end. I’ve been working through Philippians recently and I am drawn to Paul’s line, “For to me, living is Christ and dying is gain.” Dying is more Christ. That’s something to be excited about, even if it is a little scary. But we fear death so much that we are doing anything and everything to prolong life, even if the quality of life is poor, thanks to the advancements in technology and medicine.

Now, to be sure, there is a balance with everything. Thanks to the advancement in technology and medicine, I was able to see an absolutely amazing picture of my son this morning. While I continue to ponder life, let me introduce you to Isaac Hamilton Gray. (Around the 50 second mark, it shifts to 4-D imaging. It will blow your mind.) He is not due until December 5th, but yet we are able to see some really cool pictures. I am thankful for the ways technology and medicine make our lives amazing, but want to make sure that our lives remain amazing, rather than just adding on some years.

The Bookends of Life

2008-08-19T23:51:00.002-04:00

It’s not often you get to see the bookends of life, either the beginning or the end, so to see them both in one day is quite amazing. I sat, or stood is more like it, at the doctor’s office and watched with excitement yet another ultrasound of my son who is now 24 weeks and 4 days old, but who’s counting. He has gone from looking like an alien, to looking like a young cyborg from the movie Terminator, to now looking a little bit like a monkey. A very cute monkey, I might add. Seeing life at such an early stage is a little overwhelming, at times beyond comprehension. Our little guy is growing at a good rate and all of Megan’s numbers are looking great. Now we wait some more. She is feeling him move around a ton and I, for the first time, actually felt him kick the other night. I’ve only felt it once, so either I am the ‘Baby Whisperer’ and have a truly calming influence or my son is already a momma’s boy and I don’t stand a chance. Either way, we’re pretty excited.

If that wasn’t enough for one day, this same day I experienced a rare blessing of getting to spend the final few hours of life with a beautiful ninety-one year-old woman. It is one of those aspects of this calling that you really can’t explain. Death is something that really freaks people out, but as a pastor, specifically one to a mostly older congregation, death is a fact of life. I really have come to see that being allowed into these sacred final few moments of life as an honor and a blessing. After several hours spent during the day calming her restless spirit, the phone rang late in the evening with the news. “She’s climbed that final hill.” And she has finished her race, a long race, run very well. A life-long educator, she taught her final lesson today, as I learned yet again how beautiful life and death can truly be. Thanks be to God for both!

Overlooking some overachievers

2008-08-14T18:35:00.002-04:00

I heard somewhere that a big sporting event was going on half way around the world. Ok, so I’m only joking. I, like the rest of the world, have been entranced by all that is the Olympics. I must admit, sleep has been at a minimum for us over the last week. We have stayed up to watch the Games. We love it, mainly because it is the only time we really pay attention to some of these sports. I mean, seriously, how many of us watch gymnastics and swimming at any other time at all? (I have been to one swim meet at USC, but that was because I knew someone competing.) But this is the biggest stage in the world and I guess you could argue that these athletes are the best of the best. And so we watch.

Unless you have been hiding under a rock, you have probably heard about Michael Phelps’ quest for eight gold medals. That has been the story above all stories of these games. I hope he does it. I really do. But, I also hope we can move on and learn about some of these other athletes at some point. I’m sure we will after Saturday when swimming ends.

I was talking about all this a friend of mine the other day. He raised the issue that we are not hearing as much about the other swimmers and how the relays that Phelps swims are team events. He said, “What about those other guys? We have not heard nearly anything about them.” And then he made a comment that made me think. (“And this is the poetry that moved my soul.” A David Wilcox line for you.) “You know” he said, “It’s sort of like single people in the church. All we hear about is family this and family that and how the church needs to have kids so that it can have a future. What about us single folks? What about us?” I was blown away. What an awesome comparison. It is so true. The church has bought into the American dream wholeheartedly, the idea that you have to go to school and then get married and then have kids. That’s how we determine success, both as a nation and, unfortunately, as a church. But what about all those single people out there? What does the church do for them? How are they included? Now, one of the responses will always be, “What about singles groups at church? They have those, right?” And I am sure that most big churches do. But even then, singles say that groups like that are really used to try and hook singles up with other singles. And for what reason? So they can get married and have children of course. You see, we fall short is honoring people and giving them value no matter what their marital status is. In fact, the New Testament finds Paul going as far as to say that some people served God more faithfully when they were single and encouraged individuals not to get married. What a novel idea? What would our congregations think of that teaching? So, hopefully we can learn a lesson from the media’s coverage of the Games and honor all people, for exactly who they are as individuals created in God’s image, married and single. (Mad props Randy, mad props!)

Needs

2008-08-06T11:14:00.001-04:00

Being downtown, we frequently hear the doorbell ring and find someone on our doorstep in need. They always have a story to tell. Like Tony, who just stopped by for a cup of water in order to wash his breakfast down, a breakfast that was simply a Little Debbie’s Nutty Bar. He also asked for a couple of bus passes to get him to and from work. Tony’s been by several times, it’s always the same. A cup of water and a couple of bus passes. This time, he had just finished spending several nights in jail for assault. Someone had cursed out his twelve year old daughter at the bus stop and he had to make a choice on how he should react. Obviously, in the words of the Third Knight, “He chose poorly.” (Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade reference.)

Then there’s Marion. Marion first came by needing a post office box so he could get mail and his disability check. So we paid for a PO Box for him, which we’ve done several times over in my several years. Then he came needing a haircut or a new pair of shoes or a new coat or this and that. He always spends a few minutes shooting the breeze. He always tells me where he is living and how ‘there ain’t a lot a work out these days’. After a little chit chat, the conversation turns to what they need, the concrete possession they are lacking or the money they need to keep something going.

Now, I don’t have a clue whether or not the stories these men and women give me are true or not. I’d like to believe they are, but I’m not that naïve. I realize they are using me, that they really probably could care less about me or the church and that are really on a mission to get something and if I don’t give it to them, they will probably go elsewhere. Realizing all that, I have also come to a realization about myself. I really don’t care about their motives. You see, when I am sitting and listening to these stories that they tell, eventually I know they are going to get around to the truth of the matter and they are going to ask for what they need. And that is at the heart of any relationship. What one needs. It just so happens that these folks I am referring to, while their stories may be made up, they will truthfully tell you what they need. This stands in contrast to the many relationships we are in as human beings. In our ‘normal relationships’, we skirt around the needs that we have. Instead of saying, “I need to…” or “I need you to…” to our loved ones, to our friends, to our families, we build up walls and force them to play guessing games as to our needs. Actually, being needy is seen as being weak. No one wants to be classified as needy. But yet, we all are. Living in a broken world, we all have needs. Whether it’s to be accepted or to be loved or to be affirmed or to be held accountable or to be challenged, whatever it is, we all have needs. But I believe the great thing about all this is the fact that we worship a God who meets our needs. And God meets all our needs, not necessarily the way we think they should be met all the time, but God meets them nonetheless. And one way in which our needs are met is through the love and grace of other people. Now, wouldn’t it do us well, to open our lines of communication, to freely speak to one another about our needs, so as we don’t have to guess anymore. People are sent into our lives to meet our needs and to help us meet the needs of other, but we have to speak truthfully. I am thankful for Tony, Marion and the others, for teaching me to open up and to be honest about my own needs.

Lessons from Coleman

2008-08-05T09:10:00.001-04:00

While in Kansas, we made a quick stop at the Coleman Factory Outlet and Museum. Coleman products are used by most everyone who camps. Coleman began in Kansas by WC Coleman who produced lanterns and lamps in the very beginning. The museum honoring the company and the plant are in Wichita. Among the items at the Museum was a list of Mr. Coleman’s Personal Qualities That Insure Success. They are interesting and inspiring, especially thinking about them as a Christians and as pastors. Here they are:

1) A practical imagination. Every element contributing to human progress is first conceived and visualized in the human mind
2) A pioneering spirit which always believes there are new methods and better things to be discovered.
3) Initiative which impels one to do something about it.
4) Courage to launch out and attempt the seemingly impossible.
5) Resourcefulness that overcomes every difficulty along the way.
6) Persistence, that is, the power to carry through to completion.
7) The joy of achievement, which makes hard work a pleasure.
8) Capacity to work with other people. Every great achievement requires cooperative effort, and loyalty to a common purpose.
9) A becoming humility which acknowledges the help of others.
10) Qualities of the heart which cause one to find real joy and satisfaction in promoting the welfare of others.

What if we as a Church lived by these rules? What would the church look like for the future if we actually put these into practice?

The Name Game

2008-08-03T08:51:00.000-04:00

One of the questions that has come our way recently has been the traditional, “What are you going to name your son?” Of course, if a guy asks me or us this question, he always suggests his own name as an option. I guess that is just a guy thing, a weird guy thing, but a guy thing. But naming this child is a big deal. I suppose it feels like the first big decision that we can make that will have a lasting impact. I mean, this is the name that my boy will be called for the rest of his life. Names are important. Even God has a name, as much as ‘I AM’ is a name, not an everyday name, but it is a name. And so names bring identity. It’s something that can be worn with pride or carried in disgrace. Names are what set us apart, unless you are a John Smith, and then it’s something more that sets you apart. Names are a big deal and so the act of naming our child is weighing pretty heavy. I’ve been lobbying for several months for Fenway, after the home of the Red Sox, but Megan doesn’t seem to be having any of that. We’ve actually had some really good conversations about names, serious ones. In fact, I think we’ve picked one out, but we’ll have to see. We are not quite ready to throw it out there just yet. More to come…

Saying Goodbye

2008-08-01T09:28:00.000-04:00

I was struck by how hard it was saying goodbye to people at the family reunion last weekend. I don’t know them very well, nor have I known them for very long, but I felt a deep sense of connection with them. They are family now, whether I am an in-law or out-law or whatever you want to call me. Sunday morning was hard. I think it was hard because we don’t know when we would see these people again. 727 days is a long time away and a lot can happen between now and then.

It got me thinking, is it possible to say good-bye well? I mean, the whole concept of leaving someone goes against the way in which we have been created, as creatures who crave community and relationships. So naturally, leaving and saying good-bye is awkward at best. This reminds me of a story I heard one time. I don’t know if it is true or not, but supposedly while on his death bed, some of John Wesley’s final words were, “And the best of all God is with us.” Now that’s a cool way to say good-bye. “And the best of all God is with us.”
Brad

Traveling Challenges

2008-07-31T15:52:00.002-04:00

So we got back late Tuesday night from Kansas. The thing is, we were supposed to get in Monday evening. The story goes, we arrived at the airport at 3PM on Monday only to have our flight delayed by an hour and a half. So our 4:15 departure was pushed back to 5:45. Then around 6PM, we find out the flight is cancelled and we are scheduled to fly out at 5:50, the next morning. People, I’m still on vacation. And I am not about to wake up at no 4AM while I’m on vacation. So we pushed our flight back to 1:15PM (Tuesday), getting us to Atlanta at 4PM, then to Charleston at 6PM and finally home at 8PM, no big deal. So we leave the airport at 7PM on Monday having been there for 4 hours. Thankfully, the airline, that shall remain nameless, put us up for the night in a hotel and gave us food vouchers. Sleeping in and shopping a bit on Tuesday for some last minute gifts, we got to the airport at noon for our 1:15 flight. While checking in, the airline worker offered us compensation for our seats, in the form of travel vouchers, i.e. a free flight, and scheduled us for the same original flight plan as the day before, the dreaded 4:11 flight from Wichita to Atlanta. For some reason, we felt good and we took the deal. Imagine our dismay when the dreaded 4:11 flight was delayed until 6:30 after having been there since noon. For those not good with numbers, I’ll do the math for you. That’s ten and a half hours in the Wichita airport. That’s about nine and a half hours too long, in a very little airport, complete with screaming kids, angry travelers (not us, other people) and a set of twins I deemed the ‘creatures of chaos’ (Because of them, I am thankful we are only having one). Miraculously, we managed to make our original flight out of Atlanta. Because of storms, it had been delayed. So we landed in Charleston at midnight on Tuesday night, when we were supposed to be in at 10PM on Monday. Interesting couple of days to say the least. I thank God for safe travel, an understanding wife and just enough patience to get us home. Now for our vacation from our vacation.
Brad

Micah's words

2008-07-31T11:13:00.005-04:00

We read this last night in Bible Study. I love it.

“Many nations will come and say,

‘Come, let us go up to the mountain of the LORD,

to the house of the God of Jacob.

He will teach us his ways, so that we may walk in his paths.’

The law will go out from Zion,

the word of the LORD from Jerusalem.

He will judge between many peoples and will settle disputes

for strong nations far and wide.

They will beat their swords into plowshares and

their spears into pruning hooks.

Nation will not take up sword against nation,

nor will they train for war anymore.

Every man will sit under his own vine and under his own fig tree,

and no one will make them afraid, for the LORD Almighty has spoken.

All the nations may walk in the name of their gods;

we will walk in the name of the LORD our God for ever.”

-Micah 4:2-5 (NIV)

I love this passage for its vision of peace, but I am drawn more to the line, ‘no one will make them afraid’. We live in a world that wants us to be afraid. We are constantly being told who or what we should fear. Whether it’s a poor economy, soaring gas prices, a terrible housing market, infectious diseases, war across the world, violence here at home, terrorism threat levels, natural disasters or terrible weather, we are always being put on the defensive, being told, that we should fear this or that. It is so good to know that a day will come when we don’t have to fear a thing, a day in which God will set things right.

Brad

“We’re not in Kansas anymore!”

2008-07-30T17:41:00.004-04:00

For those of you who did not know, we’ve been in Kansas since last Wednesday on vacation. That’s right, I said Kansas. For VACATION. Every other year, Megan’s father’s family holds the Stone Family Reunion in Kansas, where it all began, or close to where it all began. I believe it actually began in Oklahoma, but that’s another story. Anyways, it’s quite an impressive gathering of around 90 people, from 9 states, with at least 4 generations present. Having only been present for the last 2, I do not have much experience with the extended family, but I have found them very kind and loving, with a tiny bit of competitive nature sprinkled in there. It is with the last part that makes me feel right at home.

Two events highlight the weekend that is filled with fun and fellowship. Each event finds a winner having his or her name written on a trophy to be carried for one year. The first is the golf tournament that occurs Friday morning. Two winners, low gross and low net (the former being the person’s score, the latter the score when the handicap is factored in). For the second straight reunion, I walked away with the low net score. Shooting 75 (par 71 course) while carrying a 13 handicap makes it pretty easy. There is something about my game and the Hesston golf course that clicks. I cannot explain it. Last reunion I shot 76 with a 15 handicap. Needless to say the word sand-bagger and a few others were thrown my way.

The other event that occurs during the weekend is far more important and far more coveted. It’s the Stone Family Pitch tournament, a mid-west or Kansas card game that nearly no one east of the Mississippi has heard of. I’ve asked, and the answer is always no. It’s kind of like spades and bridge in there is a trump suit and you get to bid and when points with a partner. The Stone family has been playing pitch for a long time and nearly everyone over the age of 15 plays. The tournament is double elimination and this year 24 teams competed. The winner has their name written on a water dipper that was on the Stone Family Ranch many years ago. Needless to say, the tournament is a big deal and a lot of people watch the final couple of games. You also draw your partner at random. I managed to get paired with my sister-in-law Abby. And thanks to her gutsy and amazing play, we made it to the championship game, out of the loser’s bracket, and forced a final championship game, only to lose. It was exciting nonetheless.

So all in all, I won a share of the golf tournament and finished second in the pitch tournament, in my second family reunion. I can honestly say, I don’t believe in the sophomore slump/jinx/curse. Oh, and by the way, I am hoping to start teaching others to play pitch so to start training for two years out. You can never start too early.

It truly was a wonderful vacation, exhausting, but great to visit a close-knit family, separated by many, many miles. Can’t wait for 2010!
Brad

Truly Amazing!

2008-07-17T23:20:00.001-04:00

I was listening to a radio program this morning that referenced the fact that we now confine ourselves to concrete jungles rather than enjoying the creation with which God has truly blessed us with. After spending a couple of days and a night at Pisgah National Forest with two good friends, I would totally agree. For a vast number of reasons, we have isolated ourselves from God’s creation. With inventions and innovations, we have attempted to make our lives easier, resulting a lot of the times in making things a little more difficult and vastly more stressful. But every now and then, I am amazed at what the human mind is capable of. For example, it is remarkable that we now can keep in touch with friends, family and loved ones with the simple stroke of a few fingers. What is even more remarkable is the fact that I can introduce the world to what will be, in less than five months, our newest addition. Meet our yet-to-be-named baby boy!

Change

2008-07-16T11:05:00.001-04:00

A few days ago, we drove up to one of my favorite places in the world, Asbury Hills United Methodist Campground. Asbury Hills is special to me because of its sentimental value. As a youth, every fall we had a retreat up to Cleveland, SC that was the highlight of the year. I have many great memories of those trips during the seven years I was in the youth group. While in college, I worked at Asbury Hills for a summer. I recall that summer as one of my best ever. So when Megan offered me a chance to go with her to visit the kids from her church who had been at camp all week, I couldn’t pass it up. Walking into a dinning hall filled with kids, kids who had been camping out in some pretty rustic conditions, you can imagine the first thought. “Wow, these kids stink! I don’t remember them smelling this bad when I was here.” While the smell may have appeared to change, some things have not. The kids still eat family style, working together to get the food to everyone and cleaning up the tables. The kids still bang on the tables after dinner, chatting crazy rhymes together. And thankfully, the kids still sing “Here I Am, Lord” at the end of each week. Still today I can’t sing that song without a tear coming to my eye.
Interesting enough, we got into a conversation with one of the female counselors over lunch. She was one of those life-time members of the Asbury Hills Family. The kind that go to camp as a kid, then are CIT’s (Counselor-in-training) for two years or so, and then are full counselors. In all total, she had been at Asbury Hills in some way, shape or form for the last thirteen years. (It was only when I got home and looked back at my pictures that I realized she was one of my campers when I was a counselor, 9 years ago. Boy do I feel old.) Talking to her was very insightful. She was very opinionated about some of the changes that appear to be coming to Asbury Hills. Without the boring details, the camp is supposedly going to look rather different in the future. And she wasn’t completely buying into it. I suppose she had a right to be wary, I mean she had a lot of time and energy invested in the camp, and she didn’t really want to see it change from what she had grown to love. She said that even the kids were talking about not liking the changes at Asbury Hills. That got me thinking, here is a camp that is filled with young people resisting change, just like many congregations who are filled with much older people. Do we ever like change? As human beings, has God created us in a certain way that we want to resist change? Or, better yet, did that come with ‘The Fall’? That would make me feel a little better if it did. Regardless of where it came from, resistance to change is all too real, no matter the age of the person involved. But, and it’s a pretty big BUT, change has to come. It’s necessary. It is the only thing that keeps us alive. Literally, the medical definition of death deals with the fact that it occurs when the body ceases to change. Of course, all of this has huge implications for businesses, institutions (like the church), corporations, states (although we in SC don’t believe this) even nations, but I believe it also has implications for us as individuals. We are constantly changing, that’s the way God made us. The question for us is this: Are we changing for the better or changing for the worse? Are we constantly trying to improve ourselves and be more than we are right now, or are we just trying to get by? Are we picking up bad or negative habits that are hurting us more than they are helping us? Are we living in a way in which changes come easy or do we go kicking and screaming? I know I’m anticipating some HUGE changes. Maybe, with God’s help, I can start living in a way in which those changes won’t be so difficult.
Brad

Fantasy versus Reality

2008-07-10T10:23:00.002-04:00

I am a huge sports fan. For those of you who know me well, know how much of an understatement that may be. I eat, breath and sometimes sleep sports. I have my favorite teams and my favorite sports, but that doesn’t stop me from watching anything sports on television. My current sport is cycling as I am enthralled in watching the Tour de France. Now those guys are athletes, and a little crazy. Before the Tour, I watched Wimbeldon, before that Euro 2008 soccer. Notice how I haven’t even included any ‘traditional’ American sports. I watch those too, especially baseball. I have also gotten into the fantasy sports scene as well. I have my golf team, my baseball team, my cycling team and have just signed on for another year of fantasy football. The fantasy sports world is interesting to me. As one of those guys who had just enough sports talent not to make the final cut of any team, I have become an avid fan of anything and everything. Having the fantasy sports world gives me an outlet for my obsession. Who to trade, who to pick up, who to play or who to leave on the bench? All questions I ponder, during my free time of course. In a way, it kind of allows me to ‘play’ from the sidelines. I know, I am not really playing anything, but in a small sense, I at least feel a part of the games I watch. It keeps me interested.

In thinking about this, I wonder about the church or the faith people have. I wonder if people are out there who participate in church in a similar way. Do they look out on the church and feel as if they don’t have enough faith to fit in? Do they think, “I’m not quite good enough to do the whole church thing”? Some even lead a lifestyle that is not exactly the most holy, so they therefore feel guilty about being involved. I remember in college, how awkward it was to see some people at our campus worship service on Sunday morning at 11AM, when I had seen them only 12 hours earlier in a very different state. That’s just one example of many. This begs the question, like in the sports world, have we set the bar so high that these people simply don’t make the cut, like I experienced with high school sports. I was lacking just enough to keep me off the team. Do we treat people the same way in the church? Is the bar set so high that they don’t feel welcomed? Or should the bar be set higher for more accountability to occur? Or should the bar be set at all? I think all parties share in blame. We in the church are not as welcoming as we should be to those who are different. We rush to judge someone far quicker than we are to learn about them. Those who are not in the church sometimes carry around a sense that they are not good enough for the church, a low spiritual self-esteem if you will. They too are guilty of passing a quick judgment on individuals, only theirs is aimed at people inside the church. And none of this tackles the difficult issue of what the church as an institution means to people who are inside and outside its walls.

Going back to the idea of fantasy sports, I believe there exists a fantasy world for faith as well. A few months back, I learned how large communities are worshipping now via the internet. People will turn their computer on and listen to a podcast or watch a live streaming worship service, never leaving the comfort of their own home. While this may seem new, it is not. Older folks turn the television on and watch a worship service. Some have done this for years. These individuals do this, not because they cannot physically go, but merely because it is easier that way. They observe from the sidelines, watching a service, but not participating in the traditional, communal kind of way. While their own personal spirituality is affected, they do not interact with anyone else while doing this. Jesus himself said, “For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them. (Matt. 18:20)”. Now does this mean that Jesus isn’t with the individual who experiences a crisis or goes through some hard times? Absolutely not. But when it comes to worship, the sermon, the music, the prayers are only part of the whole. Another part is the community that gathers together, comes together in relationship with one another, for both the good and the bad. The bottom line is the fact that relationships were created by God. God looked at Adam and felt like he needed someone to be in relationship with, so God created Eve. We as human beings were created in relationship with God, in relationship with other human beings, in relationship with all of creation. When we live in a way that lacks those real, concrete and holy relationships that we were created to be in, we cannot become all that God wants us to be. We try, oh do we try. And by doing so, we tend to play the role of God the creator. So we create fantasy worlds for all kinds of things, relationships, worship, sports, just to name a few.

So here’s the thing, maybe it’s time for us to quite living in fantasy worlds and staring living in the world God created for us. For me, that means going out and throwing a ball with someone rather than simply playing sports with my computer. What does that mean for you? What fantasy world are you living in instead of living in the real world that God created for you?

Brad

Eavesdropping

2008-05-09T15:48:00.001-04:00

I try not to make it a habit, but occasionally I’ve caught myself eavesdropping on someone else’s conversation. I know, I know, it’s rude and I have no business doing it. But the conversation today was irresistible. I was sitting at lunch, celebrating someone’s graduation from seminary when several older gentlemen were discussing their churches. They were members of another denomination and went to different churches. They were sort of comparing notes. One says to the other, “Ya’ll do communion every Sunday?” After an affirmative response he went on. “Yeah, we do too. I just have one question, why? Why? Why? Why? I mean, it hasn’t changed anything.” Luckily for me, someone asked me a question at this point and I wasn’t given the chance to jump into the previous conversation uninvited. I was struck by the gentleman’s simple disgust for the sacrament of the church. Like it was something that their minister insisted on them doing, sort of like when your parent’s forced you to wash your hands before dinner or when you just had to brush your teeth before going to bed. I felt sorry for the man. I felt sorry for his church. But, I also felt sorry for his pastor. Whoever he or she is must have to deal with that kind of attitude all the time. But more so, I feel sorry for the pastor who has done such a poor job explaining why we share in this sacred sacrament, that he or she has parishioners running around being angry about it. Based on this conversation, I’ve learned that maybe I need to do a better job of explaining to God’s people about communion and other things that we do in the church. I take for granted that they know as much about this stuff as I do. I mean, I’ve always wondered about new Christians and how they must feel when they walk into a service and see new things that are unfamiliar and uncomfortable to them. I’ve never thought that some of our members, life-long Christians, would have just as little knowledge about the church as the strangers in our midst. Lesson learned. Thank God for communion, thank God for teaching moments, and thank God for the blessing of good ears that over-hear some pretty interesting conversations. -Brad

Holy Moments

2008-04-22T22:13:00.002-04:00

She couldn’t help but cry, after all it was her mother. Sitting in that cold, stark hospital room, you could feel the chill in the air. The doctors had just relayed the bad news. ‘No more breathing treatments, they won’t do any good, we’ll just make her comfortable from here on out.’ While she and her sister were prepared for this, are you ever truly prepared for death? Of course not. So she cried. And leaning over, she rubbed her head against her mother’s hand and gentle kissed it. Then taking a tissue, she gentle wiped her face, and slowly she wiped her mother’s arm, now wet with the daughter’s tears. Using the same piece of simple paper, she then proceeded to delicately dab her mother’s forehead. It truly was a very peaceful moment, filled with love and care. I knew in that instance, I had just witnessed a holy moment. What this child, this weeping daughter, this weeping child of God had done, was to anoint her mother, preparing her for what was to come. Many years ago, this woman’s head was touched with the waters of baptism, preparing her for a life lived in the grace of God. Today, her head was yet again touched by water, only this time it was the tears of her own flesh and blood, preparing her yet again for a life to come with God. Thank God for these Holy moments.

Hope

2008-04-20T00:34:00.001-04:00

What a blessing it was to enjoy a meeting of the young clergy of the United Methodist Church in the state of SC! While our numbers could have been a little better, we have begun a conversation that will hopefully continue into the future, maybe even when we are no longer considered ‘young clergy’.

Several really important issues were raised. We openly discussed how we will be able to support one another in the years to come. I will never forget one professor at Duke say, “Today you are colleagues, when you graduate you will become competitors.” While I hated to hear it, I must admit that given the state of the church, it was sadly true. I realized today, however, that it doesn’t have to be that way. It would be easy for me to distrust or to even view another young clergyperson as my competition, especially when I don’t know that person. But, when we meet each other, when we really get to know each other in a personal way, the divisiveness disappears. When I know another’s spouse and their children, we I see how effective and faithful they are, it will go a long way in the future to allowing me to celebrate their success and accomplishments. With God’s help, jealousy will never come between me and my peers.

One issue evolved around the system of authority and power that is in place. On the one hand, we need to be a voice that calls for change. We need to say, “Times are different and we need to look at things differently”. But on the other hand, we discussed how we needed to take the right steps to become more involved in the system. We need to take the initiative and not wait around for ‘our time to come’ or to be asked to be on a committee or part of a group. Instead, we need to push a little. We need to make ourselves available, to try and gain the trust of our older colleagues more quickly than they are willing to give that trust. Navigating this will require a healthy balance.

We also discussed how we need to be more vocal at all our conference events that involve youth. We need to offer them an opportunity to respond positively if they are feeling a call to ministry. We need to become unofficial mentors to those young people, so they can see that ministry is a calling and not simply the burden that many make it out to be. Serving God is a beautiful thing, no matter where that service is found, i.e. church, on campus, camping and retreats, etc. We need to get dialed in at our seminaries and divinity schools, to provide support to our students who will be joining us in a few years.

None of this will be easy. We diagnosed a lot of things that we need to do in the future, even a few things that we have little control over. In the end, I left this first meeting feeling like a really profound and deep conversation about the future of ministry in SC had truly begun. May God bless our journey into a world of transformation and change. With God’s help, we can be hopeful in the time that is now and in the time to come.

Brad

Consistency

2008-04-06T14:17:00.001-04:00

I experienced something yesterday that caused me a bit of concern. I am not one of those people who are opposed to television, movies and video games that have violence in them. I was allowed to play those kind of games, but the distinction was always made that they were not real life, instead, they were make believe, definitely not reality. In the real world, violence was never an option. But others would disagree. They say that violence in any form is not good because not everyone can mentally make the distinction between real and make believe.

With this being said, I was a little disturbed to see something violent in real life. Imagine my dismay yesterday as we went to a Columbia Inferno hockey game, a minor league team that plays at the Carolina Coliseum, and found that the time in which the crowd, filled with men, women and children, cheered the loudest was when two grown men grabbed each other’s jerseys with the intent of pummeling each other. It occurred several times throughout the game. Apparently Columbia and the team from Gwinnett do not get along very well. It was eerily reminiscent to several scenes in the movie Gladiator where Russell Crowe plays Maximus, a gladiator forced to kill, all for the amusement of the crowd, a crowd that cheered each time harm was done. At the hockey game, I couldn’t help but think how these same people cheering would be appalled if their children wanted to watch a violent movie or play a video game that had violence in it.
Now, hockey is not the only sport with violence. I cringe thinking about the number of times I’ve seen someone charge the mound after being hit by a pitch in the game of baseball and how violent the game of football can be. None of us are innocent. My friend Joe says, “That’s the great thing about Jesus’ parables, they tie us all up.” Jesus has a word for everyone, for you, me and everyone in between.

The whole conversation speaks to consistency throughout life. How can we on the one hand condemn violence but then on the other hand go to something like a sporting event and cheer such violence occurring in real life. I worry sometimes that as Christians, we are quick to take a stand on some things, but our message lacks a consistency among other things. I have long said that I will never condone the Ten Commandments being placed on the walls in our courtrooms until we start living by them, especially the one that says, “Thou shalt not kill.” Am I abdicating that hockey or baseball or any other sport be outlawed? No, but should we cheer when two people fight? No, let’s be real. Let’s be consistent with the stand we take for Christ in every aspect of our lives together.
Brad

Encouragement

2008-04-04T13:31:00.004-04:00

One of my new favorite activities is "Girls on the Run". It is a program that the Counseling Center at Epworth Children's Home has gotten our younger girls on campus involved in. Now, I have to admit that running is one of my least favorite activities. Yet running with my Epworth girls completely transforms the dreaded task. What is usually a chore has become a real time of inspiration for them and for me.
For one, they look up to me. And I know that if I slack then they will think it is ok to slack. So, I run as far as I can before I have to stop and walk. Amazingly, that tends to be much further than when I'm on the treadmill at the gym!
But no matter how far I can run, I'm still a pretty slow runnner. So as I jog, there is always someone, usually a 7 year old, walking beside me. And that of course encourages me to keep going.
Together we have encouraged each other to finish what we committed to, even though our muscles ache, our stomachs cramp, and our lungs feel like collapsing.
When I'm out there with those girls, I can't help but think of the church and what it was created to be. Life following Jesus is not easy, in fact there are times when we all want to quit...take a longer break than is absolutely needed, or just slow down. It's during those times that we need people surrounding us, walking beside us and encouraging us. Somewhere along the way though we as Christians stopped running together. We all joined our own separate gyms and spend time exclusively on our own spiritual treadmill. We need to get back to doing it together...caring for each other's souls and not going it alone.
May God help each of us run the race together!
Megan

Not just another Easter...

2008-03-25T10:47:00.003-04:00

Is it possible that work can be recreation or at the least, re-creation. After Sunday, I definitely believe it can. What a joy to worship the Lord on Easter Sunday. In the past, I have struggled with Easter. I have felt that it wasn’t fair that everyone gets to come and share the joy of Easter, but then all the Sundays between Easter and Christmas and then continuing to the following Easter, we have so many empty pews in the sanctuaries across the nation. It doesn’t seem fair that many people miss the day to day struggles of the church and what it means to be in community with one another, but then show up to sing “Up From the Grave He Arose”. It doesn’t seem right that very few show up during Lent for services, and even less for Holy Week, the time we honor Christ preparing for the cross, giving a new commandment and that fateful Friday of suffering, but yet they help begin the service by responding to “Christ is Risen!” with “He is Risen Indeed!”. You see what I mean when I say I have struggled with Easter?

But this year was different. Maybe it was our recent trip to the Holy Land. Maybe it was a recent struggle with the call. Or maybe it was just God jumping in and shaking things up in our lives a little bit. But something was different. All of those reasons of why I struggle with Easter are the very reasons why Easter is so important. Because everyone can come, because God loves humanity so much that even when we turn our backs, God is still waiting there with open arms, ready to grab hold of us. On Sunday, I told the congregation at my church this: “It is a joy to celebrate this day with you. Traditionally, this is an important day for families to be together, to dress up and to celebrate. For most of us it is an important day for us and our individual faith in Jesus Christ. But this Sunday, more than any other, is important for all of humanity. We join with believers around the world affirming that Christ redeemed all humanity and all of us have been loved by God so much that he sent his Son. Today is important because the whole world is included in God’s redeeming grace.” Or at least that is what I hope came out of my mouth. I’m not really sure if it was or not.

Regardless what I said or didn’t say, what was heard or what went unheard, this Easter was a time of re-creation. I hope it was for everyone else as well. Christ is Risen! He is Risen Indeed! Alleluia!

Lesson from the Tree

2008-03-18T14:46:00.001-04:00

When did it get so hard to climb trees? Yesterday, Megan and I spent a good bit of time doing some early spring cleaning. I know, not nearly as exciting as our adventure last Monday. But it needed to get done. Amidst the cleaning, we found a hammock-swing that Megan’s mother and father bought in Honduras. We decided it was time to put it up. Well, that of course meant hanging it from a tree. After purchasing a long thick chain to hang our swing, I decided I would climb up the tree to set it up. That was when I realized how hard it is to climb trees nowadays. Have trees gotten more complicated in the last twenty years? Has something occurred in the ecosystem in which trees have responded by becoming climb-proof pieces of God’s creation? Surely I didn’t have this much trouble as an eight or nine year old, when I spent a lot of time running through the woods and hanging from trees. I think, as I sat on a branch some twenty feet above the ground that the trees haven’t changed. Unfortunately, I have.

Thinking about this, I thought about a little guy I met named Charley. Charley is missing one arm from his elbow down. Yet, I have watched him climb in and out of countless trees with reckless abandonment. Charley is simply not scared of falling out, so he goes as high as the tree will allow. And he does it one handed. He simply doesn’t see the consequences of falling like I do. For him, he would dust himself off and move on, maybe wearing a cast for awhile. Me, I’m thinking about falling and the death that awaits me. I’m thinking it would be really hard to minister to folks while on crutches, not impossible mind you, just difficult. I guess it must be an age thing. Have I really reached the age in which I am too old to appreciate climbing a tree?

But then, I think about someone else I’ve heard about who climbed a tree. I’m pretty sure that Zacchaeus was older than I am right now. After all, he was wealthy and chief tax collector. He had to be a little older than me, right? And he didn’t think twice about climbing up that sycamore tree to see Jesus as he passed by. I guess he had the right motivation that suspended his fear of falling out of the tree. In order to see the Lord, he had to do what was necessary, even if it meant climbing a tree. I think that’s a big deal. I wonder how many times we stop short of doing things because we are afraid of the consequences. How many times are we afraid to hold someone accountable because they in turn might hold us accountable? How many times do we not help someone because we are afraid they will become dependent? How many times do we fail to offer Jesus Christ because we are afraid what someone might think about us? I’ve thought a lot about fear since yesterday. It’s amazing where simply climbing a tree can lead you.

Lesson Learned

2008-03-12T14:22:00.000-04:00

Of the long list of things that we love to do together, hiking has to be pretty high up there. So this past Monday, we found ourselves in Greenville with a little time to kill, so we decided to venture up to Asbury Hills and go on a little mountain excursion, if you will. After stopping by the office to tell them we were there and to grab a map, we launched out on our hike around high noon, with a backpack full of water and fruit. Moonshine Falls was our destination, the middle of a long loop that would be bring us back to camp and would find us walking about six miles. Not an overly aggressive hike, but one that would definitely get our blood going. The only problem was that the map contained a big X through the trail and the words, ‘Trail Closed’. We thought, oh well, we’ll just worry about that when we get to it.
The trail was great. We took our camera and using the ten second timer button, we made sure we were in the pictures. Moonshine Falls was great. It was interesting to see the barrels underneath the falls. Were they the real barrels that were used to make moonshine? Maybe, probably not, but still it was neat to see. Throughout our hike, the one disappointment was the lack of wildlife. Apart from a bird and a few butterflies, we experienced a four hour, six mile hike through the woods that was wildlife-free. Strange. Maybe it was just the time of the year.
About three hours into the hike, we crossed a part of the trail that had been washed out. Making some careful steps, we easily made it across, onto safe, dry ground. We thought, hey, that was nothing, they shouldn’t have closed the trail because of that. Little did we know what awaited us a few hundred yards ahead. “Private Property”. “No Trespassing”. “Violators will be shot on site!” Ok, so the last one was an exaggeration. But still, somehow or another, the trail simply ended. So we were faced with quite a conundrum. Do we trespass onto private property and claim stupidity if caught? Do we turn around, ultimately resulting in being very late to an important meeting in Spartanburg later that night? Or do we trail-blaze and hope for the best? You guessed it, or maybe you didn’t b/c as pastors you probably thought we would do the sensible thing and turn around and hike back on the trail, no, instead, we went trail-blazing. All of a sudden, the Man Versus Wild shows we had watched on Discovery came back to us. Bear always says, if you find yourself lost, find a river and follow it downstream. After going through a good bit of brush, down the side of a mountain, and thirty minutes through more brush, we came to Matthew’s Creek. Following the creek for some thirty minutes, we eventually stumbled upon a trail and found our way out. For several minutes, during our romp through uncut, uncharted territory, we did think, “Great, we are those people you read about who get lost and are never found again.” But only for a few moments. In the end, it was a great hike, a little more adventurous than we would like, but great nonetheless. The lesson for the day: if you go off the trail or against the map, you better be prepared for the consequences. Life’s kind of like that, isn’t it? When we decide to get off the well traveled road and to do things our own way, or better yet, against our better judgment, we had better be ready to accept the consequences that are sure to come, be they good, bad or in between. But you know, the great thing about being a disciple of Jesus Christ is that even when we get off course and go astray, even when we fall way short of what God wants us to be, God’s there, ready to pick us up and dust us off with that wonderful redeeming love. We get another shot at staying on the trail of life. Thanks be to God and lessoned learned.

Beginnings...

2008-03-12T14:21:00.000-04:00

So, we’ve been inspired. We figure, since we blogged about our greatest adventure to date, our trip to Israel that you can see linked here, we wanted to continue that trend. We have adventures all the time, not to the level of the Holy Land Experience, but significant nonetheless. We wanted to share them with you and hopefully expound on them a little bit and maybe even learn something from ourselves. Hopefully you will enjoy them too.